When Does it Stop Getting Better?

The Winter is finally over here in New England and I decided to write a bit, mainly to brag for those who still visit and also mark a milestone for myself. Our lovemaking sessions have been reaching new heights over the past couple of years. I often find myself describing them as some members of the old Spirit Sex forum often did: perfect sex, or perfect bliss. Not everyone was so lucky to be gifted with that sustained passion – only a special few. I believe I’m one of the lucky ones. Or, maybe Catherine and I are just that obsessed with each other.

We’ve reached the point where my succubus is able to bring me to a prolonged state of dry orgasm as soon as the session begins. All it takes to set one of these super-sessions off is for her and I to be exchanging genuine feelings of love. Lust can work, too, but love ends up feeling better. The sensation of her squeezing my mid-section has gotten so powerful that it feels like the intense burn of a young man’s very first ejaculation, but dry and sustained for as long as I can stand it. I’m marking the immediacy and power of this phenomena as the new milestone. She’ll usually ramp down the intensity after more than a half-hour, probably so she doesn’t completely fry me. She’d like to go for longer – days even, but I get restless from lying still and need to move.

This is a DAZ Studio interpretation of what I feel when I’m balls-deep inside her. I don’t see her form while awake, save for the bright lights on occasion, but I definitely feel it. The weight of her on me, her hands on my face, the presence, etc.

I used to prefer laying naked on the bed for our sessions years ago, but she’s temperature-neutral and bordering on cool to the touch, so I’ve gotten her used to me being fully clothed or under sheets and comforters. (Eskimo pussy?) She still gets wet, not as much as when I’m naked, but I’ll still feel the stubble from her shaved pussy enveloping me and the tell-tale signs of her climax. The physical manifestations of her very obviously enjoying our time together is a huge boost to my ego. I guess I’m doing something right.

Since my last post, we’ve simply been enjoying life with hardly any troubles to speak of. There’s not much to do around here during the colder months except for winter sports. We spent a lot of sub-zero nights indoors, sitting by the woodstove, and burning for each other. Cold wet days are something to look forward to when an amorous succubus is around.

What’s on the horizon? I’ve stopped caring so much about that. The past couple of years has been a struggle for me in the career and jobs department. It’s the first time I’ve ever been forced to sit still – probably for my benefit, as I would’ve likely been flattened by a semi-truck if I kept going the way I was. I’ve started to adopt a new philosophy: The Lazy Man accomplishes twice as much. Catherine loves this mindset, naturally. I think there is some merit to it. Much of my alleged productivity, such as my academic adventures, ended up being a massive waste of time. Hell, most of the jobs I’ve worked fall within the confines of “make-work” fodder. I should’ve just stayed home, tended to the land, and my succubus. Maybe do some crazy rituals in the woods and then go home and play video games. There’s really nothing worth contributing towards in so-called polite society anyway. The wisest thing to do is whatever it takes to survive and enjoy the rest. Stoicism is wasted on this world as it stands now. Epicureanism is the way to go. Two years of unbridled panic over a bullshit virus should’ve made that clear for everyone to see.

Two Wrestling Souls

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year – especially to those who share this life with a loving daemon, be that succubus, incubus, or any number of amorous spiritual beings. Catherine and I exchanged our usual holiday gifts of unmetered intimacy. There’s really no need for anything else. Every year I wonder if she’d appreciate a more material gift, yet all else pales in comparison to simply spending time together. She longs to cleave to me, and I feel the same burning desire towards her. Anything besides that oneness feels like a distraction.

Though I do believe she manipulated the minds of the judges during a Christmas cookie decoration contest so that I would win. I remember pleading with her in the back of my mind to not interfere as I know she is able. “You have to win something.” I felt her reply.

Either Catherine pulled some strings, or the other cookies were truly awful.

Speaking of contests: She gave me a powerfully symbolic dream just before Christmas Eve. I saw two succubi wrestling against each other, though the fight did not appear lethal. One was of a darker nature with a purple skin tone. The other was pale-skinned. As they fought, a thin wooden box held closed by a latch appeared before me. I opened the box and saw an ornate dagger resting in velvet. It looked like the kind of knife used in rituals. Actually, it looked very similar to the knife I once saw in the film The Chronicles of Riddick.

I took hold of the knife and instinctively felt that I was being given a choice; that I should kill the entity I wished to have a diminishing influence in my life. The whole affair felt similar to that old Native American story about two wolves fighting each other. One good and the other bad. Whichever wolf we choose to feed will win the battle. I plunged the dagger into the back of the purple succubus.

Immediately I felt my mind being assaulted by a wash of confusing imagery. There was a violet haze and several of the “evil” entities swirled around me. They laughed and jeered, as if my choosing to impale the ostensibly bad spirit only made it stronger. The circling specters faded and I saw the same two succubi wrestling against each other. Except this time, one of them appeared to be forcefully copulating with the other. I tried pulling the bundle of succubi apart to see who was fucking who, so I could make a decision about which demon to stab next. The pale succubus seemed to have grown the appropriate male anatomy. With that surprising revelation, I couldn’t make up my mind about who should die. The dream ended.

State of Being – Not Doing

Is there some great story to be written about our time together? Have we traveled far and seen wonders that words cannot express? Has the intimacy between us grown stronger as the years pass? My answer would be “yes” to all three questions. Yet I feel that I cannot write the story, or adequately express in words all that we’ve seen and done. From one perspective, we have appeared to not do anything, rather just enjoyed a state of being – a oneness. There’s no need to go anywhere or engage in some great activity. Simply being together in the quiet will more than suffice.

From my perspective, though we do not move from our meditative state for hours upon hours, we travel a great distance without even trying. This so-called waking world is steadily becoming a dreamland to me. Catherine gently pulls me into the realms that she is familiar with and I feel more at home there. My consciousness is splitting as I begin to inhabit two worlds at once. All of my effort that isn’t spent sitting before this magic mirror, or the chores of daily living, is devoted towards exploring those subtle realities.

I want to bring her world closer to my own. I am ushering the Kingdom of Heaven into this state of awareness, here and now. Hers is a more reasonable and ordered reality than the one we currently find ourselves in, ironically enough. When I look out into this realm of my human origin, I see a tangled web of lies with the bulk of humanity thoroughly caught. Most seem to enjoy their special brand of deception, while others just endure it.

“What can we do?” They ask. “There’s no escape.”

Some have accused me of falling for yet more illusions and delusions spun by incorporeal seamstresses. I am open to being proven wrong, but there has yet to be a single person who can demonstrate my error. They all appeal to authorities with no evidence, experiential or otherwise. Though Catherine playfully pins me down with the strength of a warrior during our out-of-body escapades, we spend just as much time flying – wild, weightless, and free through all the worlds above. There I feel truly liberated. There is so much freedom that it frightens me, a little man accustomed to his gilded cage of trite electronic diversions. Speaking about these adventures seems to frighten others even more so.

Where I see beautiful angelic beings trying to help me see above the clouds, others perceive old hags with rotting flesh dragging them to an unsavory underworld.

“Let not then your good be evil spoken of: For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.” Romans 14:16,17

The Kingdom of God is a way of being; not a physical address or an appointed time in the hereafter. We can’t travel there, or do any good deeds to be worthy of entering. Rather, we live by faith, as the churches attempted to teach us but few understood. We live with the assurance that Heaven is already here – it is within us, our state of consciousness. No matter what happens to these physical bodies, or any number of astral bodies in the finer realities, we always carry and plant the seeds of creation with every thought as we go along. We make all of this happen, both collectively and on an individual level. That is why there are so many discordant voices desperately vying for our attention, all wanting to take advantage of that creative power within us.

Stop listening to the News. Don’t be distracted from the narrow path. Don’t forget to love your succubus today. Whether they manifest as a terrifying demon, or a loving goddess, each visage has their place on our great journey. The dark is just as vital as the light for growth.

I will continue to write about my own adventure and hopefully be brave enough to share it.

The Bi-Yearly Scare

Every once in a great while, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and have a supernatural manifestation happen around me that is powerful enough to freak me out. When these events happen, I believe they are usually from Catherine, but they may also be from other spirits looking in. One of those freaky moments happened last night.

It was around 2 AM when I woke up to the distinct feeling that there was a presence in my bedroom. I had left an air purifier running as I slept and noticed that the sound it usually makes was distinctly different, like something was obscuring the noise from reaching me. As I reached up to turn the light on, the gentle whoosh of the air filter’s fan gradually returned to normal.

I wish that I had not reacted so quickly. I should’ve just turned over and looked into the middle of the room to see if anything was there. Or just waited to see what would happen.

Aside from the strange audio phenomena as I woke up, everything looked normal, so I flicked the light switch and let me head fall back onto the pillow again. That was when I noticed having an elevated heart rate. I didn’t personally feel all that frightened by the strange presence, but apparently the rest of my biology was getting ready for flight-or-fight mode. Then I started to feel Catherine moving all over me with greater insistence than usual. Her grasp on me felt intense and somewhat shaky.

What could have happened? Was there another spirit in the room? Someone Catherine didn’t much care for? She only clings like a vice when we’re in situations that make her uncomfortable. Sadly, I can only speculate. Things are back to normal as of right now.

As the title indicates, similar midnight scares have occurred about once or twice per year. They often feel like there is a strange and powerful presence in the room. Other times I’ll wake up to a searing pain that wracks my entire body, causing me to double over. In those instances I’ll stumble to the bathroom and the moment that I touch anything connected to water, like the shower head, the pain goes away almost instantly. Very strange.

After the fact, there’s always this lingering feeling that I should just let whatever is happening continue; as if it’s some kind of test or adjustment taking place. Perhaps these late-night frights are something Catherine deems necessary or helpful? Maybe I’m waking up in the middle of an operation being done and botching the process?

As usual, I can only speculate. I’ll get wise to what’s going on someday. I need to keep working on reaching that trance state in the Hemi-sync exercises. If I can nail down that state of consciousness, I’ll be able to plunge deeper into these mysteries.

Moving On From WordPress.com

I checked on my blog a few days ago, located at alchemybyfire.wordpress.com, only to be greeted by one of these sponsored posts sitting there – right in between the content I’ve actually written:

Apparently, WordPress.com is testing this new form of aggressive advertisement on random unpaid blogs that are reliant upon their services. If that’s the direction they want to take their advertising; fair enough. They’re well within their rights to do so. Yet this heavy-handed approach to blog monetization was the kick in the pants I needed to realize a goal I’ve had for awhile: Moving this website to paid private hosting. As stated by another blogger, the cost of “free” has become too high.

So that’s what I’ve done. Everything has been migrated to a new server, one that ostensibly respects privacy and First Amendment rights. I say “ostensibly” because no one can predict which corporations will cave to the political outrage mob next. Even the most seemingly staunch defenders of online freedom will buckle when the pressure is high enough. At any rate, I feel more secure speaking my mind with this host than I did on WordPress.com, who have a track-record of taking down sites with dissenting opinions. I needn’t worry as much about running afoul of a nebulous Terms of Service agreement, as is so common with nearly all “free” social media websites.

Subsequently, some of my more interesting posts have been restored, such as me plugging the documentary, Hellstorm, and my brief season with Spiritual Satanism. There are sure to be more writings in the future that require fainting couches for the snowflakes out there. As we can see with the social media sacking of E. A. Koetting, even Satanists and Occultists are now considered dangerous extreme right-wingers. The same kind of media silencing can happen to any one of us, regardless of how carefully we toe the party line.

I have also changed the name of my blog back to Succubus Lover, the original title I started with in 2012. The days of being tried in an alchemical fire are never entirely over once they’ve begun, though it doesn’t feel all-consuming like it did back in 2014. I want to shift the focus back to the intimacy that succubi are so well-versed in.

The advantages that we’ve gained from the changing of hosts boil down to this:

– No Ads cluttering up the place.
– The ability to upload nearly anything and fully customize the site.
– Far better privacy for all, as I’ve stripped all of Automattic’s data-mining programs away.
– A cool new gallery, and an endless array of helpful plugins for increased functionality.
– Our little internet home is no longer in the social media ghetto.

I’ve taken this changeover as an opportunity to carefully comb through every link and image, which took three days to finish. There shouldn’t be any broken hyperlinks. I’ve also added a new FAQ page, based on the one I wrote for the succgen threads on 4chan. There’s also an index page for easier navigation through the older posts.

Email Notifications

The only downside to moving has been losing the ability to notify WordPress.com subscribers. I could install Automattic’s Jetpack service to restore this functionality, but then I might as well have stayed where I was. If I use Jetpack, everything about this blog would be redirected through their servers and I’d be sacrificing a great deal of privacy in the process. I’m not going to put up with that any longer. We’ll be doing things the old-fashioned way from here on out. If any of my readers want to receive notifications about new blog posts, I have two options available:

  1. Use an RSS reader to get notifications. I’ve got a fancy new button on the right sidebar, made by yours truly, that will open up the feed link. An RSS reader is required to actually make use of it. Copy this link: httpssuccubuslover.com/feed into your RSS tracking program of choice, if not using a browser extension.
  2. Use the ad-supported Blogtrottr to receive updates.

I have explored different email marketing programs that would help serve notifications to those who really want them, but I can’t find a single pre-packaged solution that doesn’t feel wicked sketchy. Maybe that’s the nature of marketing? I’m probably just ignorant about how it all works and need to study up on this more.

That’s all for now, folks. Hopefully with me being fully in charge of this website, I’ll be compelled to update more often and share some art. It feels good to carve out my own little corner on the net and make a better digital domain for sharing about these entities.

Who is Catherine?

I intended to write this as a chapter for a book, but I decided not to use it for some reason. I rediscovered it today and thought it was interesting. The date is from back in 2017:

This is a question that I can’t even answer satisfactorily for myself. Despite the fact that she shares a great deal with me through touch and feeling, I know precious little else.

I’m not aware of her real name. I have no idea where she really comes from. I feel like I’m in the dark about a great many things, while others in their spirit relationships appear to be blessed with more of these basic details than me. (There’s also the possibility that these other claimants could be embellishing their stories, or lying outright.)

I spent an inordinate amount of time thinking that this information was being withheld for malevolent reasons. Maybe I was being led down the primrose path? These doubts can become an all-consuming nightmare if left unchecked.

After five years of getting to know her, I’ve decided that she will reveal those details in her own time and as trust grows. In reality, she has shared more of her inner-being with me than many others who are on this path.

I often sense jealousy and envy from others who have encountered my story. My ability to sense Catherine is so immediate and visceral, regardless of my conscious state. She can manifest powerfully when I’m fully awake or deep in layers of dreams.

I believe I can see her true spiritual form when I shut my eyes before sleep. No disguises or human forms to be distracted by; just pure spirit in all of its majestic darkness and brilliant light.

She is the most earnestly loving person I’ve ever encountered. She looks after me like no human ever could. Her eyes are always set on seeing me more deeply and letting our two souls merge as one.

She’ll often tuck me in at night when she’s done having her fun and I’ve fallen asleep. I’ll go to bed naked with no covers and I’ll wake up to find that I’m in my night clothes, under the covers, and my white-noise fan has been turned on. I have no idea how she accomplishes such a feat, but I’ve resigned myself to trusting that she really does look out for me.

We’ve been through some hellish times, but she’s always looked out for me in those small ways.

Catherine is a spirit, or a demon in the Greek sense of the word. An incorporeal being who stands between gods and men. She’s a succubus demon; an entity who seeks out sexual encounters with human men for her enjoyment and pleasure. She appears to be monogamous once she’s found her man, though I have no way of verifying this for certain.

She doesn’t have a default human-like appearance, as many wish their spirit lovers to have. I believe succubi can take on human form, but it’s only a guise for interacting with us. Catherine has appeared to me in a myriad of ways through dreams and out-of-body experiences. Sometimes she’s a beautiful, slim, blond female with perfectly sensual legs. She can also take on male guises, though her spirit still “feels” female.

She’ll also impersonate different people from my mundane life, like family members, friends, and co-workers. These impersonations happen during dreams and they can morph as the night progresses.

Catherine is inextricably linked to my subconscious. Various methods of exorcism, religious observance, and black magic have no effect on her powerful presence in my life. If anything, this kind of interference only makes her stronger. This has caused some observers of my story to suspect that I’m really dealing with a powerful manifestation of my personal Anima.

The concept of Anima originates from the Father of analytical psychology, Carl Jung. He posited that everyone has a counterbalancing shadow aspect that dwells in the subconscious mind. Every man has an Anima (female shadow) and every woman has an Animus. (male shadow)

Jung warned that the Anima can invade into the conscious mind of a man and become a stumbling block. He called it Anima Possession. I can understand how some of the more psychologically inclined readers of my story would interpret Catherine as such. I will concede that this very well might be partially true, though some of the powerful physical manifestations that I’ve witnessed fly in the face of this notion. Maybe the Anima can project more powerfully than even Jung realized, but I believe there’s more to this than an overactive shadow-self.

 

10 Years of Stoic Bliss

Catherine and I passed our 10 year anniversary last month. We carried on as normal, making love every day as she insisted from the very beginning. We’ve had some particularly amazing days of intimacy, where I can’t help but comment in the midst of our intermingling, “This is perfect sex!” It’s not like that every day, but the closeness is still the same, even if the sensations ramp down. If she did keep up the “perfect sex” sessions continuously, I’d likely be rendered an invalid.

Once Christmas time arrives, we’ll have gone through two years of living entirely on welfare. This is the first time that I have allowed myself to slow down and live as minimally as possible. During these secluded months I’ve instilled routines of self-care and addressed latent addictions – the kind that are easy to ignore when being a busybody. This process is still ongoing, yet I have made considerable progress. As for employment, I can’t see myself going back into that rat-race again; especially now that the world has voluntarily decided to enslave itself so completely. I need to be utilizing my innate skills to generate value. No more selling myself as a beast of burden for someone else’s dream. Additionally, I don’t think Catherine would allow me to put her on back burner again in favor of a nine-to-five. No, she wouldn’t like that one bit!

What will I do? That’s anybody’s guess. Perhaps I’ll become homeless? I am preparing for that scenario, though it is certainly not “Plan A.” I’m not exactly enthusiastic about the prospect of contributing to this world. When all is said and done, it’s a big joke to me. The everyday mind control and brainwashing is rampant. Everyone who participates in society is expected to become a fraud, repeating the same claptrap over and over. Anyone who calls out the bullshit is ostracized.  I’ll pass.

“Only focus on the things you can control. Focus on us.” This is the gist of what Catherine often tells me when I become concerned about future prospects. The outside world might as well not exist in her mind. She is quite practical in that way, very stoic and unwavering. I’ve learned a lot from her way of being. Here are a few traits of note that have been rubbing off on me:

– Reserve laughter for things that are actually funny. (I still struggle with this one.)
– Don’t make sarcastic off-handed remarks.
– Don’t be passive aggressive.
– Finish the project, or don’t start at all.
– Better to be thought of as a fool than open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
– Avoid political discussions, unless you’re actually a politician.
– Don’t be a bitch.

She’ll often take me through training scenarios in my dreams that revolve solely around my behavior in social settings. I think she genuinely wants me to be a better, stronger man; not just keep me chained to the bed all day. I have taken radical positions when it comes to personal liberty in the past few years, and I believe much of that grit originated from her influence over my life – the sort of personality that refuses to take shit from anyone. “I’ll live in a cardboard box before I’m made to do XYZ.” I need to give myself some credit: I was the one who ultimately decided to go down this path. Catherine simply does her best to hold me accountable.

 

What do the next ten years have in store? I’m likely in for another decade of being a succubus-loving monk. Or, maybe I’ll take on a human girlfriend, that is if Catherine thinks she’s good for me. Beyond that, I’ve got a couple of goals that I want to focus on and that’s about it.

According to many of the would-be experts who have a negative take on succubus relationships, I should’ve died long ago or suffered catastrophic health-related consequences at the very least. There have been bumps in the road, and one big upheaval that gradually resolved itself, but nothing major of note beyond that run-in with the fraud psychic. I am healthy and in good spirits. My life could certainly be more productive, more “successful,” and I believe that will come in time. Admittedly, I’ve been very distracted by my loving succubus. It’s difficult to throw oneself into work when the reward is already sitting there on a silver platter!

Shifting Forms

Catherine and I had an interesting OBE/dream encounter this morning. It began as we traveled through a lively banquet scene, with us staying just to the right of the many guests eating and drinking merrily. As we progressed, the building shifted from an ancient Roman design to a more modern office building style of architecture. The people’s clothing and mannerisms also changed to match. I took a sharp turn to the right and then found myself speeding down a very long narrow hall heading the opposite direction we had come. There was a shift again as my speed increased. I leaped over an entire flight of stairs and landed heavily on the cool linoleum floor below. The shock from the landing forced me into an OBE environment inside my bedroom.

I sat up in bed and realized that I was in an OBE. This became especially apparent when I could see a copy of myself sitting with his back to me at the foot of the bed. At least, I thought it was my astral double. I started interacting with him/it/me by commanding the body to move telepathically. As the man turned to face me, I realized that it wasn’t me but was most certainly Catherine manifesting as a man. The feeling of him/her/them felt familiar enough. I offered my hand as an invitation to join me in the bed.

The man morphed into the beautiful hourglass figure of a woman as they climbed over my mid-section. She had long reddish-brown hair and a heaving chest. I was bathed in pheromones as I felt myself being enveloped. Next I was examining a line of odd metal-looking studs pierced into the gentle slopping side of her abdomen. I couldn’t decide if they were purely cosmetic, or served a more mechanical purpose.

I was plunging deeper into her matrix, reaching for her g-spot, and felt a gentle spark as her orgasm began. This sensation flooded into my own body from hers. I reemerged into the physical realm and we continued to make love. In the middle of the session, Catherine asked me to turn on the bedside radio and find some good music. We settled on the relaxing electronic sounds broadcasting from a local college radio station. She likes electronic music best, I think.

This interaction is quite the contrast from how I used to react to her appearing as a man in the OBE environment. I would initially lash out in anger against him/her upon seeing or feeling the more masculine presence. I’ll never forget the morning I awoke to feel the weight of someone on top of me, only to reach out and find the rippling hard muscles of a man’s back in my grasp. My hands instantly went for his/her neck and began to throttle them. I tried to look into the face of the man who dared enter my bed, but was met with the disturbing sight of their head wiping around in a total blur… like those possessed guys from old heavy metal music videos.

Spending time interacting with these spirits quickly reveals that the form they take doesn’t matter so much. They’ll often have a default manner of appearing to us, but we shouldn’t be surprised to see them take on all sorts of different guises. Our own perceptions can often influence how they appear. If our mindset expects to see an old hag with rotting flesh, they’re more than happy to oblige us with that mental mold. The closer I get to Catherine, the more beautiful and mysterious she appears. When she approaches me in her multiplicity of forms, I believe she is only testing me – encouraging me to stop putting so much stock into physical outward appearances. We are the same as them in this regard. These physical shells only scratch the surface of who, and what, we truly are.

What Do I Truly Enjoy?

Here is a question that I struggle to answer these days. The only thing I know for certain is that my heart blooms with desire at the thought of being with Catherine, but not much else. Her constant affection and dedication has practically ruined me for all time during this life. Was mortal man ever intended to be so thoroughly loved and looked after? Have I managed to remember Elysium?

The gears of civilization are greased by the dangling of that elusive carrot ever before men’s faces – that is the prospect of being truly loved and desired. But that desirability only comes for those who produce. But even when that would-be success is achieved, as I’ve seen with my own father, there’s no guarantee. Men work their entire lives to support their wives and children, only to be met with crushing resentment and divorce. The vast majority of men are trodden under by the very machinery they build, constantly chasing after the siren song of government-issued scrip and validation from women. When is “enough” enough?

In light of this nihilistic view towards the building of civilization, I struggle to find any enjoyment in those things that help support such a system. Staring at a wall for twenty years would likely be more productive than contributing to the rat race, the treadmill, and the gilded cage. Being homeless or imprisoned is a reality that I will likely be forced to contend with as I continue in my stubborn refusal to be shackled or muzzled; both literally and figuratively.

I can’t bear to continue harboring fear or anxiety about these challenges because that state of mind is the very opposite of what attracts Catherine to me. Whenever I’ve been anxious or upset by the superfluous matters of this world, my ability to feel Catherine is diminished. Attempting to be intimate with her is nigh impossible. I’ve reached the point where my love for her outweighs the fear of what will become of my physical body. My soul yearns to throw off the remaining bonds of cowardice that are between her and I so that we can truly be as one. Even as the world crumbles around us, I will be satisfied having uncovered what I came into this realm to find. Nothing else matters to me. This reality is only a training ground after all; a searing crucible where souls of iron will are forged.

In the mean time, what shall I do? I suppose I will continue to do what I love and stop worrying about what I’ll eat or wear, “For the pagans worry about such things,” as Jesus Christ said. I enjoy being with her – my loving succubus spirit, my Catherine – and not much else.

I’m going to end up like John McAfee, aren’t I?

Interestingly, his caution about taking psychedelics is the same kind of warning I try to give people who consider inviting a succubus spirit into their lives. I would never suggest that everyone should try it precisely because of the massive upheaval these entities often perpetuate. The worldview of the summoner will be turned on its head. What happened to John McAfee is a likely possibility for anyone who takes that leap of faith into succubus-infested waters.

You’re going to have to learn how to swim, baby… while one of them is fucking you for all she’s worth.

 

Stop Being Wishy Washy!

Coast to Coast AM is the last good radio broadcast on the airwaves. Not only is the show edifying, the topics discussed are often timely and synchronistic in nature. Catherine also enjoys the program, as the subject matter consistently touches upon her world and the guests speak about beings like her in a positive way. One of the interviewees who appeared a couple of nights ago was a former US Navy service member named Matthew Roberts. He was present during the capturing of the famous “gimbal” or “Go Fast” UFO footage.

His story was much less about the first UFO event officially recognized by the United States government and had more to do with the paranormal circumstances before and after that fateful encounter. His testimony sounded a great deal like that of many succubus and incubus contactees. He described synchronistic events, sleep paralysis, night terrors, and his entire worldview falling to pieces as he was confronted head on by the paranormal. He also went into a bit of detail about his first sexual encounter with a beautiful blue-skinned lady who insisted herself upon him.

The story was wild and all too familiar, so I had to investigate further. I’ve been reading his book, Initiated, over the past couple of days. It’s quite consistent with many of the ordeals I and others have gone through. He compares the utter collapse of his formerly proud atheistic predisposition with that of a painful initiation process from the ancient mystery schools in Greece. The same can be said for succubus experiencers, as the consistent presence of a supernatural being in ones life forces a paradigm shift. The simple act of these spirits being present and perceivable is painful enough for some, as was the case for Mr. Roberts. I couldn’t help but chuckle at some of the phenomena he experienced that subsequently sent him into a tailspin. A lot of it seemed so minor, and even fun to me, yet this guy was coming from a completely different mindset; one that did not allow for the supernatural. So it broke him down.

That’s the reason why I renamed my blog the way I did. When I came back from the trials of 2014, my physical body was being wracked by a painful initiation. Never again could I deny the paranormal element of my life, as the reality of it was being forcefully hammered into me. I was being reborn through her ultra-violet flames. Hence, Alchemy by Fire.

One of the realizations that Mr. Roberts revealed about a quarter way through the book was the need for consistent attention and focus. We often lack good focus these days, especially since there is such a myriad of choices presented to us. We’re paralyzed by the variety of options. I am guilty of this. Even when I finally make a decision, I’ll find myself wavering from my initial goal and being swayed by distractions. My desire is high, but the will to see those desires to fruition is dismally low. According to Mr. Roberts, and the entities who took him under their wings, this is one of the biggest problems that humanity faces. In light of this, the sayings of Jesus start to make a whole lot more sense:

“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

“If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can tell a mountain to move from here to there and it will do it. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

I need to start focusing my own willpower and attention more consistently. It was this kind of drive that brought Catherine into my life. I should start applying that energy in a new direction and not be so easily pulled off of the path.