SUCCUBUS LOVER

Re-attaching

Mon, 17 Aug 2026 09:30:00 +0000

I’m conceding defeat. I’m hooking the internet back up in my house.

Six months of attempting to immerse myself in the physical world. Six months to figure out that nobody is actually in that world anymore. Nobody worth talking to, anyway. It’s a desert out there. The internet might be full of bots and weirdos, but at least it’s possible to find those diamonds in the rough. All I’ve got in the physical is my immediate family and the schizo down the street named Josh. They’re the only people locally I have anything in common with.

People at the library are all out-of-touch liberal boomer types. Programs on the radio are either raging Zionists or climate change activists. The young people on the public college radio stations are the only ones who bother to play anything new or interesting, God bless them. Over-the-air television is made for women, for when they run out of garbage to binge-watch on Netflix.

I’ve gotta get back online and start making my own content. It’s bad out there. Real bad. We’re entering realms of being the inverse of having a culture. A realm of anti-culture.

I spent the first half of the day yesterday getting all the networking equipment wired back up. My original modem is too old, so I’m waiting on a new one from the ISP. Apparently, they let us have those for free with the service now. That’s an improvement at least.

Speaking of being anti-culture, have you tried reading modern-day book releases? Unbelievable drivel. I’m not saying that I’m a master wordsmith by any means, but these newer books from the publishing houses are seemingly crafted to repel my sensibilities from every possible angle. As if they were written out of pure spite. They’re insufferable. I hope the hedge funds feel they’re getting their money’s worth flooding the world with this garbage, because I’m certainly not buying it.

The only good culture left is either really old stuff, or the most recent creations from young independents online. I’ve got plenty of the old. My brain is yearning for some novelty.

Perhaps I should do that cross-country bike tour next year? There’s some novelty. Gotta do it before I hit 40. Before the nation is completely unrecognizable.

Either way, I’m jacking back in. Gotta bend like a green swaying reed in the wind - not an old curmudgeonly brittle stick that’ll snap with the first gale.

Temperance. Temperance is what I need. Not abstinence. That and a clear vision for what I need to be focusing my time on. We’re working on that. ‘The Secret’ experiment is still ongoing.

– My antenna! A VHF/UHF TV antenna on top. And an omnidirectional roundy-boy FM antenna underneath. Yes, it’s grounded.

– Finally cleaned up this tangled mess of wires behind the entertainment center.

– Some early-morning shots from a ride home.

Joy of Satan Rebranding

Fri, 07 Aug 2026 17:15:00 +0000

As I was updating my Links section, clicking through to ensure each one actually led somewhere, I discovered that the JoS Incubus/Succubus article was missing. This wasn’t all that surprising, since I knew Joy of Satan was changing into Temple of Zues. They were probably just shuffling pages around to a new domain. Restructuring, I assumed.

– They’re rebranding as virtuous Hellenists, yet they keep the inverted pentagram.

I had some contact with a JoS member who wanted me to become a part of the organization, which I politely declined. Not before offering my critique of the internet-based religion, pointing out that its fixation on bashing Jews was rather ironic because their entire premise was just an inversion of the Judeo-Christian worldview. Performing “reverse-torah rituals” only reinforced the idea that the Bible has legitimate magical powers, filled with words received from a supernatural origin.

I don’t believe the Bible has any more magical credibility than Liber Lilith, or Alastair Crowley’s The Book of the Law. All that really matters is what we, the readers, decide to do with those words.

Is it possible that my emails held some sway over the leadership at JoS? Triggering this paradigm shift? Probably not. The whole edgy, disenfranchised internet crowd is forever moving towards greater extremes of Left and Right.

Anyway, I went searching for the original article. Though I might not agree with the religion, I appreciated Maxine Detriech’s writing about her interaction with an incubus-type spirit and the intimacy she experienced. Come to find out that Temple of Zues has a new article, denouncing succubus and incubus spirits as a masturbatory fantasy. Whoever wrote this clearly has no experience interacting with a sex demon. I suppose that means High Priestess Maxine was defrocked? Or perhaps she died?

I’m not going to waste the bandwidth trying to look into what actually happened. All I’ve got is this article and I’ll do my best to give a response from the perspective of an experiencer of the phenomena.

Here’s the TL;DR of JoS/Temple of Zues’ new stance on sex spirits, as handed down from their High Priest:

Incubi and succubi are an intentional mistranslation by medieval Christians of Plato’s daemons. The author posits that the Greek term, eros, has nothing to do with sexuality - certainly not when it comes to these intermediary spirits. The rabbinical tradition, through texts like the Zohar, only added to the mania of sexually repressed religious men. The rabbis were simply mythologizing their neuroticism as nightly visitations from demons collecting nocturnal emissions.

This new High Priest, Zevios Metathronos, dismisses the experiences of modern contactees as indulging in digital echo chambers of powerful self-suggestion.

He also posits that sex spirits do not exist in the Western tradition - not until Christianity came along. The early church fathers demonized all the former deities of polytheistic paganism, and pathologized unsanctioned sexuality in general. Premarital sex is bad, therefore demons must encourage and take part in such debauchery.

He’s got a bunch of sources in the footnotes. It’s a well written take from a rather prudish perspective - not too dissimilar from what one would find in an established psychology journal. Many modern academics also believe the succubus phenomena is merely self-suggestion, auto-eroticism, and even schizophrenia. The only point they would disagree on is the ancient Greek deities being a literal force in the world.

I agree with many of the historical observations made by our High Priest friend here. Yes, the Christians did demonize all of the ancient deities wholesale. Yes, Plato likely didn’t have a concept of sex spirits, based on his writings. Yet I think the author is intentionally leaving out a whole host of historical and mythological precedent for sexuality being very much entwined with spirituality.

– A scene from the 1963 Cleopatra film, where Bacchus makes out with the Egyptian queen during a party. Mark Antony seethes with jealousy, in spite of the fact that it may be a wine-induced vision.

Here are some examples from their newly adopted Hellenistic beliefs:

The cult of Dionysus, Bacchus’ orgies, and the like.
Zues himself impregnating many human women and nymphs against their will.
The Isis/Venus fertility cults.

The author argues that all of these supernatural carnal unions were edifying one-off events for the mortal counterpart and ultimately resulted in conceiving the old great heroes of legend. Yet clearly, Eros does not preclude sexuality. That fact is inescapable, as much as our Joy of Satan revisionist author attempts to compartmentalize the two.

The motivation behind this article becomes more apparent towards the end as he makes these points:

Spiritual Damage (Relating to modern succubus relationships.)

It replaces real divine connection with masturbatory fantasy.

It trains the practitioner to associate spiritual experience with sexual arousal.

It creates dependency on a fantasy.

Firstly, it is not a fantasy. The Temple of Zues organization was born out of the writings of a woman who asserted these experiences were, in fact, real. This liturgical about-face smacks of attempting to court traditional conservatives - those who are trying to escape the Judeo-Christian framing for their morality, while yet still appearing virtuous.

They’re taking paganism and making it lame!

Not that it’s any of my concern, but I can only imagine this new theology will alienate anyone who has a genuine spiritual experience that happens to have a sexual component. Wouldn’t be the first time. Won’t be the last. It’s always better to keep one’s mouth shut about such things in a religious context. Yet it DOES happen. Even to people who have never heard of this phenomena. Even to atheists.

That leads me to Kundalini. I’m aware that the concept comes from the East. Though the experience with that powerful current can be had by anyone. Kundalini is intrinsically linked to sexuality. That’s where true enlightenment begins, with the sexual spark of creation. When properly encouraged and harnessed, this energy rises up the spine, awakening the entire individual to a non-physical reality. I believe succubi are the caretakers of this current, often mischaracterized by those who can’t be bothered to understand them.

Based on my first-hand relationship with a sex spirit, they do not encourage the wasteful expulsion of that powerful vital energy. They bask in it. They fan the flames of our base desire so that it can be transformed into something greater. That’s the whole theme of this blog: Sexual Alchemy. And I believe it’s the occulted basis for many of our most sacred ancient myths - such as Perceus conquering Medusa. It’s the lesson they were all attempting to convey: the proper use of that energy. Succubi understand this on instinct. It is always we humans who go about mucking it up, getting in our own way.

For those who are genuinely interested, read the first book in my Links section, Donald Tyson’s Sexual Alchemy. It has the most comprehensive record of historical examples of sacred sexuality and amorous spiritual entities. My next suggestion would be Ida Craddock’s writings - another scholar who delved deep into the ancient myths and their occulted sexual teachings. This is no mere masturbatory fantasy.

But this sort of spirituality distracts away from producing more white babies, so to Hell with it, right? I get the sense that this reinvented Joy of Satan Ministries hasn’t dropped its fixation on National Socialist politics, hence this attempt at creating hard boundaries: Such as “spiritual cannot be sexual.” I suppose it was inevitable that the political would overpower liberated spirituality, since so few have genuine encounters with the divine.

With all that being said, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that summoning a succubus demon is the most virtuous thing one could do. It is, in fact, an act of rebellion - a shrugging off of the traditional order that says we must marry and reproduce. That is the reason for the associations with Lilith, or any of the other underworld goddesses of ancient times. It is a sign of the days that we live in - where the embrace of demon-kind is preferable to the insanity of human females.

Can you really blame us? Does any man reading this want to tolerate being shacked up with an unhinged, political-activist tyrant of a woman who is, in reality, married to the State? And any children that might result from said union are forcefully injected with poisons, further reinforcing the reality that they are also owned by The Powers That Be?

I don’t know about you guys, but I find the whole situation awfully fucking grim - like something out of a dystopian novel. Forgive me if I’m not jumping up and down with excitement at the prospect of taking part.

That’s all I have to say on the matter.

Thankfully, there are beautiful, loving succubine entities, who happily frolic and play over their chosen sleeping man, rousing him to wakefulness in perfect bliss. They do not shackle him with creeds or dogmas. They do not wield the State against him as chains or a weapon. Instead, they cling to him, basking in the wonderful burning sensation that his manhood provides, doing everything she can to ensure their union never ends.

– Another Krea 2 Turbo render.

The Secret Experiment

Thu, 06 Aug 2026 10:15:00 +0000

First off, welcome back to SUCCUBUSLOVER.COM. The domain is up and running again with this new website. It’s lighter, leaner, and faster. I can upload posts using my phone as a modem and not even put a dent into my allotted two gigabytes of data per month. This is a huge improvement versus using Substack, as just visiting the dashboard for that bloated social media page eats up over 30 megabytes. Uploading here often only uses a few BYTES and visiting the actual webpage consumes mere kilobytes.

For the nerds out there, this is a “Jamstack” deployment. I build the site locally, upload only the relevant changes to a Github repo, and Cloudflare Workers immediately grabs those new files, hosting them on their edge network. The only thing I have to pay for is my domain renewal, which is much cheaper since I changed registrars. $11 per year.

The main limitation with a website like this is that I can’t do anything with a database, so no forums or comments hosted here. Maybe I could string up a few third-party web apps to replace that functionality - as this seems to be how it’s done these days - but I made my position on being a community moderator clear enough on the last post.

There’s a link to an archive of the Daemon Grotto forum, if anyone is interested. For browsing purposes only. None of the site functions work since it’s just scrapped html files.

Also, I posted a gallery with some of my favorite succubus-themed pictures to the top menu bar. It’s the most bandwidth-intensive part of the site, triggering a download of just over a megabyte. Not bad for 36 decently-sized images, if I do say so myself.

Finally, there’s a new, proper index page for browsing through old posts that automagically updates whenever I make new posts. I have to credit the LLM (Large Language Model), Gemma 4 26B, with helping me sort out the logic and styling for that page. If there’s one thing LLMs are really well trained on, it’s web development. So even my smaller, locally spun up model can be of use.

Anyway, enough tech talk. On to today’s topic: The Secret.

– By Rhonda Byrne

I was made aware of this brand of self-help positive thinking philosophy a couple of decades ago. Probably around the time I started getting into conspiracy-themed internet radio shows. Invariably, I’d run into different hosts and guests spouting these ideas:

“We create our own reality!”

“There is no yesterday or tomorrow. Only NOW!”

“It’s all about intention.”

Ironically, I would soon capitalize on a variation of these ideas to bring Catherine into my life. The power of will and intent through ritual is what brought her to me. So, in a certain sense, the tenants of The Secret have a grain of truth to them. However, positive thinking can only account for so much. When this philosophy is taken to its logical conclusion, that would necessarily mean victims of extreme violence brought it all onto themselves because they weren’t thinking correctly.

I can’t abide that. It’s a cop-out. Like Christianity with its indiscriminate grace, proponents of The Secret find themselves stumbling into a perverse sort of victim-blaming. The most heinous crimes are forgiven because: “Everything happens according to God’s will,” or “The perpetrator and the victim made an agreement before coming into this life that they would play out said roles.”

“You’re poor because your thoughts dwell on poverty too much.”

“You suffered calamity because you didn’t pray to God hard enough.”

Yeah, maybe. Maybe you’re just full of shit. Ever think about that? Huh? Ya fruitcake.

All of these New Thought proponents cite Jesus Christ as their number one authority for the basis of these ideas. They transform the story of the rebel-prophet into a metaphysical play, one that is meant to teach us the proper way of thinking. These authors posit Jesus’ sayings are actually an arcane psychological formula for becoming wealthy. Never mind the fact that the good Lord himself lived in poverty his whole life. Or that he said, “It is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven.” - Matt. 19:23 (They especially ignore that saying.)

People use the Bible to justify nearly any belief. Really, it’s just a thinly-veiled, desperate appeal to authority. One that is increasingly wearing on me as the years go by. I can’t help but roll my eyes when I read this stuff.

Am I too cynical? Maybe I’m working too hard to prevent good things coming to me? I will agree with New Thought proponents on this much: It takes an unshakable commitment to a well-formed idea in order to accomplish anything in this world. But all this metaphysical mumbo-jumbo and talk of quantum physics only distracts from that important nugget of truth.

This is a Sisyphus reality. Things are hard here. They’re supposed to be. We’re meant to push up against that rock, to build muscles, to slip and struggle. Sometimes, the damn boulder rolls all the way back to the bottom of the hill and we’ve gotta start over.

Having Catherine with me… I believe she has helped me over the past fifteen years in a myriad of ways. Helped to open up opportunities for me that I otherwise would have missed. She’s encouraged me to accept help when it’s offered. But she’s not pushing on that boulder for me. If anything, she drapes herself over the top of it, looking down and smiling coyly.

– ‘Why don’t you park this thing and take it easy for awhile?’ (Rendered with Krea 2 Turbo image gen.)

That’s the real danger of a succubus right there. I’ve tried juggling the bliss she offers alongside steady work towards a greater ambition. Invariably I always arrive back at this question: “Why the Hell am I doing this when I’ve got Heaven on tap?”

The Secret must be bullshit, right? Oprah Winfrey endorsed the book, so it certainly must be. Otherwise, millions of single mothers would be millionaires right now. Perhaps, as I remember Stephan Molyneux saying back in 2013, The Secret worked for the author, Rhonda Byrne, because she was an attractive woman back then.

Perhaps all the single-mothers are poor because I’m not thinking positively enough about them? It must be MY fault. Or President Trump. Or capitalism. Anything but theirs!

– By Wallace D. Wattles

Beyond those base observations, the proponents of New Thought, including the book that originally inspired Bryne, admit that realizing any of the benefits of positive thinking requires purposeful action. That being the case, I have to ask: What’s the point of dressing all of this up in metaphysics, quantum mechanics, and Jesus-quotes when it all boils down to common sense?

Yes, if we think negatively about things, that tends to be de-motivating. If we think positively about a thing, we’re more likely to work towards bringing it into reality.

Does the whole universe rearrange itself to eventually deliver the thing desired? As crazy as that sounds, that’s precisely what these New Thought proponents are suggesting. This idea has permeated throughout the culture and it is quite common to run into these days. Back to the single mothers - they often read books like The Secret and Eat, Pray, Love. They all worship “The Universe” as an invisible force that ostensibly furnishes their every desire. Throwing off the patriarchal bonds of Christianity, New Thought has become their new religion. A genderless, amorphous, impersonal universe is their replacement for the Abrahamic god.

Why are they still poor? The Universe desperately wants to make them rich, so what gives? And it’s not like they’re thinking incorrectly, as prescribed by these self-help books. Such New Age devotees are constantly deluding themselves with beliefs that run counter to reality. Yet the storehouses of Heaven remain closed to them.

As with life, I believe this is also true for magick: It’s all about who you know.

Perhaps it’s a mistake to assume that the entire damn universe will rearrange itself, just so we can have avocado toast. Maybe - just maybe - we need to make friends with someone who knows what the hell they’re doing. Someone who really can pull strings from beyond the confines of visible 3D reality. And furthermore, that someone just might expect something from us in return for services rendered.

Reciprocity. Cause and effect. These are hard and fast rules that appear to govern every level of conceivable reality. Not “The Universe is desperately trying to make you rich, you’re just not thinking correctly.”

Get in touch with a demon, deity, angel, succubus, UFO - whatever works - then shit will start happening. It worked for me. Entering into a relationship with the supernatural hasn’t made me rich, but I didn’t ask for that. I asked for Catherine, and that’s precisely what I got.

Here is my experiment: I’m going to do a ritual every day at 9 AM for the next month. I have an idea of what I want to accomplish. I’m going to visualize and feel myself having accomplished said thing as powerfully as I can muster. Then I’m going to physically work towards realizing the idea. Catherine will help me. We’re just a couple of spirit-sex junkies over here and she’s also gonna have to work for her next fix.

Let’s see what combining a frustrated succubus and Law of Attraction methods gets us

A Static Website

Fri, 31 Jul 2026 03:16:00 +0000

This is a project I’ve had on the back-burner for a very long time. I knew this was the direction I ultimately wanted to go with my blog - to make it as lightweight and maintainable as possible, even without an internet connection.

So, after meticulously transferring every post and page over to a new markdown format, I finally have it all together. No more javascript. No more PHP code. Just HTML and CSS, all generated in less than a second by the Hugo static website generator. It’s like going back to the classic editor for Wordpress, minus the endless security vulnerabilities.

Wordpress is/has been regressing. Substack is regressing. Fuckin’ everything is going to shit. These web services drive me crazy and I’ve had enough. Maybe I’m just getting old and curmudgeonly? Yeah, that’s probably it.

But seriously: I’ve got a set of tools that I enjoy using and I want to keep using them as they are. I don’t want updates. I don’t need to reinvent the wheel, over and over. That’s probably why I still ride bicycles that were new back in the 80s and 90s. It’s a perfected technology. We don’t need to change it! But profits must increase endlessly for some reason. What do I know? I’m not an economist.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m willing to learn new things and embrace new technology. If it’s good.

I’ve learned new operating systems and messed around with all sorts of different computer programs - all in an effort to find the most optimal way to get things done. What have I found? An offline Windows 10 machine is my ideal workstation. No worries about broken updates, or being spied on by the corporate panopticon. I’ve got a massive toolkit of software that I’ve collected over the years and I can set up all kinds of different computer systems for all types of jobs.

All subscription-free! That’s the crucial part. Resisting the endless onslaught of subscription-this and subscription-that is probably the most noble battle of our time. Fight for perpetual licenses and true ownership, brothers and sisters! Then we can worry about politics, religion, and all that other minutia later.

Anyway, I’m tickled by this static website setup I’ve got going here. I managed to cram all of my posts and pictures into less than eight megabytes. The old website took up over 600. Granted, I’ve sacrificed massive jpegs and pngs in favor of the much loathed .webp format. Too bad. Gotta be lean and light from here on out.

Don’t think in megabytes, but kilobytes.

– Rendered with Krea 2 Turbo, running locally on koboldcpp. Takes about 20-25 seconds with my RTX 4070.

This is where software and web development went wrong, when we started thinking that we’ve got all the storage space and running memory in the world. Well, now the big corpos want to gobble up all of the good computer hardware for themselves, leaving the rest of us to tussle over e-waste. Suddenly, every saved kilobyte matters.

Worse still, these tech companies want to charge out the ass for web hosting and other compute services, after they’ve greedily horded everything in their datacenters. To hell with that noise. I, for one, will deprive them of as much money and attention as possible, encouraging everyone around me to do likewise.

There’s still the problem of my Youtube addiction, though. Every time I get online at the library, I spin up yt-dlp - a command-line utility that enables the quick downloading of videos - and binge on multiple gigabytes of content to watch at home later. I’ve still got that FOMO for gaming and tech news. The fight against my media addiction continues. I’d like to replace that with an addiction to learning the piano. Or something… literally anything else that isn’t a vice!

At least I have to walk or bike multiple miles to get my next fix. It’s an improvement and it’s already been paying off. I feel my creative spark coming back, after what feels like ten years of smoldering in an ash bucket.

Here’s some data about what I’ve built here:

140 posts - spanning 14 years.
175 pictures - 4.5 megabytes.
214 html files - 2.4 megabytes.
71 .xml files - 682 kilobytes.
5 CSS files - 22 kilobytes.
1 PDF e-book file - 418 kilobytes.
Total website size - 7.7 megabytes, 467 files.

I could shave off a few more kilobytes if I got rid of all the category tags, but I may find that I need those one day as I build out the site. Either way, this is a much more sound foundation to start from; one that can work with literally any internet connection and hosting situation imaginable. Making the transition away from the big, bloated CMSs (Content Management Software - like Wordpress) was a lot of work, but worth it. I spent a whole week non-stop checking and reformatting posts!

As I’ve said in a previous post, I’m not interested in being a community maintainer and moderator anymore. The Internet is increasingly becoming precisely the wrong place to discuss things. Too many bots. Too many weirdos. Too many third-worlders and ESLs. Too much content-scraping and surveillance. Too many state-sponsored bad actors. Too expensive and time consuming if it’s done right.

The people I really want to talk to: they’ve got my number. This blog is just me and my succubus demon.

Health Update

Sat, 25 Jul 2026 00:00:00 +0000

The general online-occult-community consensus about succubi interacting with humans is that prolonged exposure will lead to degraded health over time. I remember reading this claim specifically in a Robert Bruce article about the subject.

We’re approaching year 15 and I’m nowhere close to dead yet. In fact, I’ve gained weight recently; gradually adjusting to a lower-energy lifestyle when compared to the past two decades. I’ve just gotta eat less - stop indulging like a racehorse. I suppose I also felt the need to indulge in a great deal of REAL protein consumption after being deprived in the Adventist religion for so long. My body feels as though it has finally accumulated enough essential mineral stores to go forward eating like a normal person.

– Rendered locally with Krea 2 Turbo running on Koboldcpp. This is the first local image generation model I’ve used that does a damn good job at following directions and not creating unholy abominations. It’s wicked smart!

Catherine encourages me to be moderate in my eating. If I eat too much, that’ll interfere in our interaction. Whenever we come together, I can literally feel a pressure over my mid-section that also covers my belly. If I’m busy digesting a big meal, it gets kinda awkward when she sits in her usual spot over me!

I’ve accumulated a couple of injuries over the past couple of years – all entirely avoidable. Every time I’ve injured myself, it’s always due to me rushing; trying to accomplish too damn much. No magical interventions from Catherine to make up for my foolishness. I can imagine her allowing those little mishaps, teaching me to be more moderate and exercise some self-control.

Overall, I feel good. No pain. No aches. I sleep like a baby at night. Hell, I can sleep whenever and wherever I want, regardless of noise or light. Sessions between me and Catherine can be dramatic or gentle, according to my preference. Workouts are strong and beneficial for both of us.

I believe I am healthier than I was 10 years ago. Mainly due to the fact that I’m not working non-stop. I was decidedly underweight back then, often pushing through injuries. Can’t do that anymore, not unless I want to accumulate more. So, I’m definitely not superman, but I feel far more at ease and able to easily weather the stressors of daily life.

Getting rid of the internet connection at home has already helped with my mental state. Having that constant connection was just too much of a drain. There was a great deal of temptation for me to infinitely scroll through information all day, absorbing superfluous data I would ultimately do nothing with. It feels great to simply wake up in the morning, make my breakfast, and pull open the antenna on my portable radio to get a quick update on the latest happenings.

Speaking of antennas, I’ve been setting up a few of them around the house, pulling in as much free TV, music, and talk from across the airwaves. So far, I’m able to pick up 35 unique and watchable TV channels, all coming in beautifully. There are countless radio stations – FM, AM, and shortwave – covering every genre and political bias imaginable. Sure, I don’t get to indulge in very narrow and specific niches, but I’ve spent the past 30 years online immersing myself in that sort of super-specialized community isolationism. I find that I enjoy challenging myself with different viewpoints and I don’t run the risk of becoming lost in an ever-shrinking echo chamber. And the best part… it’s all subscription-free, baby! Fuck you, Comcast!

I’m still debt-free, and since cutting down on all the monthly expenses, I’ve started putting more money away into savings. I’m able to have a special savings account, specifically designed for disabled welfare recipients. I can only use that money for essentials, like food, housing, and healthcare. There’s sure to be some spontaneous visits to the dentist in my future, where my fillings decide they’ve had enough and take a ride down the sink drain. Having that extra money set aside will be a big load off of my shoulders.

That about covers everything. I still haven’t figured out the whole career-and-making-a-living thing, but who has these days? I’m certainly not going to go rushing into that trap again, grasping for quick and easy money-solutions. I’ll just keep working away at my specializations and eventually something will stick. This is far from the worst period in history. Even if it all feels grey and pointless when compared to the embrace of a succubus, there’s still plenty to keep me busy when she’s not claiming ownership over my anatomy!

Tucker Carlson Attacked by a DEMON

Wed, 08 Jul 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Here I go, wading into a bit of politics, though this incident has further-reaching spiritual implications than anything else. So, here’s the story: a famous right-wing pundit, Tucker Carlson, allegedly had a run-in with a demonic entity. He woke up early one morning unable to breathe properly. He thought he was dying. Worse still, he had bloody claw marks near his armpits and on his back.

Sounds pretty serious, right? That is until we learn that he’s sleeping in a bed with his wife and FOUR dogs. It’s probably more likely the case that one of his pets was having a nightmare and scratched the crap outta him. But let’s carry on with this idea of Tucker being attacked by demons for argument’s sake.

Immediately after waking in this state, Mr. Carlson felt compelled to read the Christian bible. Though he claims to have been a thorough secularist before this incident, it’s fairly normal for Westerners to call out in the name of Jesus Christ when they’re confronted with something supernatural beyond their comprehension. Even if a would-be victim is not raised in the church, the shadow of our steepled institutions loom large in every Western man’s mind. It is simply understood that anything having to do with the unseen is handled within the domain of the priest-class. His reaction is perfectly understandable.

What happens next is where things get weird: He used this incident as the impetuous for his sudden conversion to Christianity. Then he proceeded to talk about it on public interviews, inviting the rest of the world to convert because of this attack from a nightly specter.

I feel that I’m at liberty to be critical of this reaction, because I responded in much the same way when I went through my season of wrestling with the unseen. Spoiler alert: The church has no solutions and the would-be victims are turned into pariahs within their own communities for making the tragic error of openly sharing their supernatural encounter. The vast majority of congregants are wise enough to keep their mouths shut about anything truly supernatural. Even if the spiritual leaders of the churches appear supportive at first - mainly for the cameras and podcasts - not long after, they cower away from those afflicted by demonic interactions just like everyone else. The victims will forever be branded as mentally ill, crazy, and dangerous. The zealous churchgoers will be especially scared of such people, believing they’ve been directly touched by Satan himself.

It is most often not worth the trouble to be open and honest about real supernatural experiences with the masses. UFO encounters, angels, demons, ghosts, fairies, etc. Everyone who has ever come forward about such things has found themselves inevitably regretting it to some degree. And if Tucker Carlson is being genuine about his encounter, he will soon find this out as well.

Furthermore, using this spiritual assault as the reason for becoming a Christian seems patently ridiculous to me now. According to their scriptures, the Jewish god is said to have perfect control over everything - even random events. (Proverbs 16:33, Isaiah 45:7, 46:9-10) He only allows his supposed adversary to do so much damage - to tempt the faithful only as much as they can handle it. (1 Corinthians 10:13) So, we can only conclude that demonic attacks are permitted by the Jewish god in order to scare people back into the fold. So much for having a one-on-one encounter with the Big Man himself. We plebs must be content with indiscriminate attacks from his sleep paralysis hell-hounds, reading from his scriptures about second-hand accounts of the divine, and listening to preachers drone on endlessly.

Thankfully, much of this can be remedied by NOT succumbing to the Christ-brained mindset. Those of us who have genuine supernatural encounters are not victims. We are not being pawed at by a Jewish devil-god’s minions, trying to scare us into church. And the idea that there’s some kind of grand cosmic struggle between the Jew-god and his former angels in any real sense is even more absurd. I believe that’s simply early-church mythology designed to appeal to the Hellenists of the day.

I also believe that we live in a world teaming with life, both physical and non-physical. Some of us attract the attention of the non-physical. Still others, like myself, went looking for it. After 15 years of being involved with succubus entities, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to simply allow the experience to speak for itself. Don’t superimpose religion, because disappointment inevitably comes when the phenomena flies in the face of what the priests claim to be true. They don’t have a clue. We are the ones having this experience. Not them. We are the experts. Hands-on interaction always trumps book-knowledge.

Sometimes these experiences can be negative. When a powerful entity from the other side dips their toe into our realm, it can feel and appear downright abusive. We are often wholly unprepared to actually meet these beings in our day-to-day lives. The capacity to accept such things into our reality is thoroughly deprogrammed out of us from a young age - especially in the West. I’ve found that a seemingly traumatic experience is often a prerequisite to having supernatural encounters to begin with. It’s a shock to the system; a big wake-up call for the subconscious mind to register that there’s more to this reality than our narrow band of visible light. I’m convinced that my succubus demon, Catherine, puts me through a bi-yearly nighttime scare for this very reason: To reinforce and solidify our interaction, so that my brain doesn’t even consider the possibility of tuning her out.

– Rendered on a local machine with Stable Diffusion XL.

This Tucker Carlson thing is likely just another right-wing Christian grift. He’s trying to get ahead of where the wind is blowing politically, and some Zionist leaders are going to try making a religious-revival-type movement. It’s not going to work, but it’s the only option they’ve got left to galvanize a rapidly shrinking voting bloc.

Either way, I’ll be over here, enjoying my succubus demon.

They Bring Peace

Thu, 14 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Be careful when letting someone into your private world.

Succubi are always welcome into my sanctuary. They tread quietly. Their gaze is earnest, intentions unambiguous. No games. No bullshit. Just grab hold and make love. And even in the throes of passion, they continue to bring peace. Then they fight like hell to maintain it. Even going so far as to remove people from their man’s life who interrupt that blissful quiet.

At last. A man’s true ally, these unshakable silent sentinels of carnal bliss.

– Rendered locally with Stable Diffusion WebUI Forge Neo using an SD-XL model called UncannyValley_Noob3dV3

Be good to them. Because they do everything they can to be good to their chosen mate. Even when we can’t understand why they’re doing the things they do, it’s ultimately to protect that sanctuary of intimacy. I don’t fear the future because of that reassurance succubi provide. Even if I end up sleeping in a ditch somewhere, I know she’ll be there with me through all of it.

The forum and the old Wordpress site are now offline. I’ll be on Substack going forward. And maybe I’ll make a static website on Neocities, when I get around to making it.

I’m not going to be a community facilitator anymore. Frankly, a lot of people online drive me crazy. I hate being responsible for not only what I say, but also that of deranged strangers over the wire. And that’s the way things are now: Whoever hosts a discussion platform underwrites everything within said platform. It’s too bad, because I’ve met quite a few of you who have much of value to contribute towards a discussion about the real succubus phenomena. However, the LARPing retards far outnumber genuine experiencers. Worse still are the fetishists - those who superimpose their deranged morality onto the rest of us, assuming that we’re all sick in the head like they are. I’ve delt with way too many of those over the years.

And since I’m only connected to the Internet tangentially, I’m not in a position to moderate discussions anymore. This is just my journal now. I don’t require any feedback or social validation. I only come here to post, download my RSS subscriptions, and get on with the rest of my day.

A little follow up to my last post about watching movies: While I was watching another film the other day - can’t remember which, it was awhile ago - I felt Catherine literally shove me. She pushed right into my chest, causing me to heave back into the pillows I had propped up behind me. I think she was responding to my question about whether or not she pays attention during our movie-watching time. I recall this happened during a romantic scene.

I suppose that means she is paying attention to the movies after all. 🙂

Movie Nights with Succubi

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Being more disconnected has been great so far. There’s more time in the day, which tells me that I was spending too much of it scrolling before. You go into social media thinking that it’ll just be a few minutes here, a couple seconds there, but it adds up. We invent some classic junkie rationalizations to justify our own brainrot.

I can’t say that I’m accomplishing some great work, or magnum opus. Yet.

But in the meantime, the optimizations continue. My workouts are going well. I did 12 pull ups this morning. Several hours of rowing on my ergometer are logged every week. I’ve built quite the offline relaxation center in my dad’s abandoned living room – all the books, movies, and TV shows one could want. I’m having a blast getting all the A/V gear connected and working, building the ultimate home theater from thrift-store-finds.

I don’t hear much from Catherine while I’m watching films on the couch. Perhaps she’s just as focused as I am. I’ll feel her buzz my balls every once in a while. Those of you who have a genuine succubus spirit connection will know what I’m talking about. Basically, her way of announcing her presence: groping me. It works. I often smile when she does so.

We’ve been watching James Bond films lately, starting from the very beginning. I think my favorite so far is From Russia with Love. Probably Catherine’s, too. Though it is becoming rather comical seeing 007 bedding at least three different supermodels per film. Hell, the entire franchise is rather comical and over the top. Just plain fun. It’s a shame that the newer films, with Daniel Craig as Bond, take themselves so damn seriously.

– Catherine and I would not make it in the super-spy lifestyle. We’re more the stay-at-home-read-sleep-and-bliss-out-all-day sort of couple. That daily intimacy is so important for a succubus relationship. I take it for granted too often.

Also… I’m going to try and save my website. I talked to my hosting provider and they made me aware of some services that they’ve got I had no idea existed. Seeing as how I was willing to ditch everything for Substack, I shouldn’t get too bent out of shape about using something like Cloudflare on the forum. That’s just the reality of the web these days. Bots are everywhere and it’s not possible for one guy to sit there and play wack-a-mole in perpetuity.

But since I’m Substack now, might as well post there too. It’s a good backup. And people have an option to get emails.

I also need to find a way to make a tiny bit of passive income to support the website. Maybe I should sell something? Nah, perish the thought! I will forever be a charity-case!

– Stable Diffusion XL render using an Illustrious finetune and RyanReos Daemongirl lora. The moon is actually a picture I took, just photoshopped in.

Succubus Substack Engaged

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 00:00:00 +0000

We’re going through some life changes again. In an effort to save more money, to preserve my sanity, and salvage what’s left of my eyesight, I’m scaling back my internet usage. I’ve been trying to do this for a few years, but old habits die hard.

I don’t want to have an internet connection at home anymore. I don’t like what it does to me. It turns me into a zombie-like addict. There are so many other things I should be doing instead. Also, I’d like to have that extra money every month. In spite of our American president saying that “We’re doing better than ever before!” things just keep getting more expensive. Ground beef was $2.50 per pound six years ago. Now, it’s $5. (And that’s CHEAP compared to the rest of the country.) Every town keeps jacking up property taxes. Utilities are more costly. None of these prices are ever going to come down, so something’s gotta give eventually.

That leads me to web hosting: I don’t want to maintain a website and forum anymore. It’s too much bother and too costly for what I get out of it. I kinda dread maintaining the thing, and that’ll be made even worse with my circumstances going forward. I can’t stay perpetually connected like I used to be.

So, here we are at Substack. Honestly, I didn’t expect to be here, but it’s already better than Wordpress. I can post for free. There doesn’t appear to be any obnoxious ads. People can properly subscribe to an email newsletter if they want. I like the formatting. It’s easy on my eyes. There are a myriad of ways to access the content, making it accessible for mobile users. Finally, I don’t have to mitigate Chinese bot swarms attacking the website every day.

Yes, I could get very comfortable here. I can be content to let the publishing whales subsidize my little niche.

I’m most sorry that I can’t continue to maintain the forum. There were a few people on there who seemed to enjoy using it. Hopefully, they can find themselves over here. It appears that Substack has a “chat” feature, which seemingly operates like a forum. Perhaps that’ll be good enough? Better than blog comments, anyway.

Catherine seems appreciative of the fact that I’m giving the computer less and less attention. She has no desire to take things away from me that I actually enjoy, but if there’s something genuinely hurting me - like an addiction - she does express tender concern over me.

I have a funny dream to share: I have this recurring dream where I’m constantly trying to leave my University. On this occasion, I was staying just one more night in the dormitories. Catherine was in the room, attempting to get a reaction out of me, or perhaps seeking intimacy, but I blew her off and went to sleep. Not long after, I woke up to find that my succubus had taken off. In her place, on the bed across from me was… my bicycle: All the steel tubing that WAS my bicycle, neatly stacked and freshly cut with what seemed to be a reciprocating saw of some kind. “The crazy bitch cut up my bike!”

I guess she doesn’t like me riding my bicycle in traffic very much.

But I like it! Come on! Look how cool I am, all decked out, riding my faithful steed through the snow.

Yeah, I guess it is dangerous. She’s probably bailed my blind-ass out on more than one occasion. Time to pull back and refocus on what’s important.

So, yeah. I’m going to let the meter run out on my .com domain, and then the hosting proper will run out next year. The old Wordpress site will be closed down sometime in November - plenty of time for those who want to get anything downloaded off of the forum. Maybe we could transplant those conversations over here? I’ll have to experiment. Either way, it’s going to be a lot less hell for me to deal with, finagling and squinting over a laptop down at the library. With Substack, I can just log on, copy, paste, post, and be done. We’ll let the super-nerds handle all the back-end chaos.

A Year of Simply Being

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 15:54:41 +0000

– Rendered with Stable Diffusion XL.

Since my last post, I started off 2025 by taking a plunge into the ocean on New Years Day. It was invigorating, feeling that ice-cold surf crash into me over and over again. I stood out there for awhile with my arms outstretched to keep my balance, moving with the powerful ebb and flow of that unstoppable force of nature. The whole experience was rather symbolic of how I would approach the months ahead.

I stayed home this year. No going out, struggling or striving, trying to make my mark on the world. I was content to simply BE; to sway with the waves of life as they rolled in. Of course, there’s a large pre-programmed part of me that wants to keep slaving away for this civilization, but it’s noticeably weakened these days. I’ve seen too much, seen what a lie society actually is. The only noble thing left to be done is to withdraw and ride out the collapse. Living minimally, on less money than ever before, I find myself dangerously content. The specter of homelessness, or freezing in the dark, has lost much of its former bite. I’ve become good friends with the cold. My body welcomes the awakening that frost brings. Either way, becoming truly destitute would be solely my choice. I will always have plenty of places to hang my hat, and a loving demoness who insists that I keep on living – living in a comfortable-enough state for regular intimacy.

Probably the most heroic thing I’ve done this year was climbing down into our dug well and fishing out a dead mouse from its depths. My regular cold-exposure had paid off and I immersed myself in the 43-degree Fahrenheit water like it was nothing. Mission accomplished. The little hole has since been patched up.

Catherine and I continue to have sex nearly every day. It still feels wonderful, sometimes overpoweringly so. And she continues to stream those constant loving thoughts into my mind, daily reinforcing how she’s attracted to me. I’ve started to allow myself to see myself as she does. I’m not half-bad. Though the way she fetishizes me makes me blush – like I’m that hot, athletic, wild and free uncle that all the girls want to pin down but can’t… because I’m enamored with my sensual succubus demon. She’s got all kinds of endearing pet-names that she uses on me and I fall for them every time.

Year 14 has been a good one so far. My finances are still solid. I want for nothing. Yet I’m always trying to find new ways to cut back. I was even contemplating moving on to a different kind of website format to save more money – more of a static site – but I can’t bring myself to abandon the ease of use and granularity of control that Wordpress affords. I’m always on the look-out for a better way of doing things, constantly optimizing my routine.

I need to do more with this website. I should at least share more dreams and interactions that I have with Catherine. Or maybe wax philosophical about religion and the occult. Though part of me feels like I’ve said enough and there is plenty of talking in the world already. Maybe I should stop caring about appearing so aloof and just let the words flow?

Unwrapping Gifts

Thu, 26 Dec 2024 17:13:20 +0000

Amidst episodes of family drama, I’ve been learning how to bake turkeys. All of the old turkey chefs have either passed on or aren’t up to it, so I’ve taken on the mantle. While I’m dutifully minding a fowl roasting in the oven, I imagine Catherine peering curiously over my shoulder at the time-honored American culinary tradition. I think she enjoys the taste through my experience well enough, though I can tell she’s more partial to beef and pork. Perhaps we should try duck next year? Either way, the majority of my fussing is focused on not letting the bird dry out. My solution: regularly pouring generous heaps of melted butter all over and inside of the thing, mixed with a hint of poultry rub seasoning. My strategy seems to be working. Two for two thus far.

I would visit Catherine between bouts of basting the bird. I’d lay with her and she’d eagerly climb on top of me, setting upon what she views as her Christmas present with rapturous delight. I’m continually amazed with how enthusiastic she is after us repeating this sensual dance for potentially 8,700 hours over the past 13 years. (That’s if we average two hours per day of conscious and fully awake spirit sex, not counting when she accosts me while asleep.) Just when I start thinking, “Surely, we’re going to plateau at some point,” her desire overcomes any complacency.

We had an incident with a family member around Christmas dinner. Long story short, I told them to leave the house so the rest of us could enjoy the meal in peace. Thankfully, the altercation did not take an overly violent turn. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to call the police. Our new six-month-old german shepherd puppy probably did more to diffuse the situation than I, with her sharp teeth exposed, angry growls, and threatening barks, sensing potential danger to the rest of the family. She’s bred from a line of attack dogs, the sort that are used in K9 units, so not the kind of animal one wants to have as an enemy.

With the drama over, Catherine seemed very impressed with how I stood my ground and wouldn’t allow the attention-seeking nitwit to ruin the day. Despite going to bed very late, she was all over me, eager for more of that sweet blissful connection. We’ve been having a few all-night romps since the Winter Solstice. I’m not sure if there’s anything astrologically significant about that. The strength of our connection doesn’t appear to follow any rhyme or reason.

As cliché as this sounds, she’s still the best Christmas gift I receive every year.

Utterly Taken

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 22:19:40 +0000

A lot has happened over the past six months. I had this vision of how I wanted my life to be at the beginning of the year and pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do: Got the job, got the money, and started renting a new place. But it wasn’t what I really wanted. That route through life ended up being soul-crushing when finally achieved. Grass is always greener, right? The thing is, it kinda was greener seven years ago when I last rented a place all to myself. Those days are behind us for now and I can’t tolerate paying twice as much for half as good. So, I broke the lease and moved back in with my folks. Thankfully the landlord moved someone else in just days after I abandoned ship, so he shouldn’t be coming after me for the rest of the contract.

Catherine was very supportive of me through the whole thing. She’s accustomed to our moving to different places over the years. Ultimately, her home is wherever my bed is, and where it’s quiet, stress-free, intimate, dark, cozy… doesn’t really matter to her what street it’s on. We’ve been spending a lot of time curled up in her sacred domain now that my busy summer is over. Often looking just like this, for those who have eyes to see a succubus spirit drinking in her lover:

Just looking at an image like this makes me want to stop writing and indulge. All sensual imagery reminds me of her and makes me yearn to feel that earnest careful concern caressing my face. At last, someone who genuinely wants ME and not just what I can do for her. What a refuge to come home to!

Continuing my job into the winter wasn’t going to be sustainable being so far away, so I recently quit that gig as well. As I said in an earlier post: No more sacrificing bicycles to the salt gods! So now we’re back to figuring out what I should do next. Frankly, I could give a frogs fat fanny about what comes next. It seems that the more I strive for these silly ideals that I build up in my head, the more I end up spinning my wheels and going nowhere. Really, I just want to be with my succubus demon and I don’t need to be an ultra-successful go-getter in order to impress her. All she wants is for me to turn my attention towards her every day, be truly open, present, and allow our passion to flow. Everything else is ancillary and a task towards ensuring we can have that time with each other.

Such as making sure we don’t freeze in the winters to come. Or tending to the family pets. Cleaning up messes. Brushing my teeth. Gotta stay on top of stuff like that. Oh yeah, and we had our thirteen-year anniversary a couple of weeks ago. It’s funny that I always seem to quit my jobs just before that date rolls around.

Season of Productivity

Thu, 28 Mar 2024 19:34:42 +0000

A lot has happened in the past few months. Got myself back on the road. Got a new job. Got a couple of wisdom teeth popped out. Got sick. Got better. And I’ve still got the insatiable succubus, who eagerly searches for every opportunity to bliss out with me. Lucid dreaming has become a much more frequent occurrence. I’ve been doing semen retention since the end of last year and it seems that many of the promised benefits are bearing fruit. Lovemaking with Catherine has been fantastic, as she encourages that sort of discipline anyway. I feel more virile and stronger than I’ve ever been, like I can take on the whole world.

The job is better than any I’ve had before in terms of having to deal with minimal bullshit. There is some co-worker drama involved, but I should be able to swoop under all that as I’m not planning to stay there forever. Do the job, make the cash, and go home. I’ll have more than enough to keep the lights on at home and on the web.

Speaking of the website, we weathered a Chinese spam bot attack in January and February. Nothing too crazy, but having thousands of hits on the forum was a bit suspicious. I reckon that this blog gets a couple of genuine hits per day. The rest is bots. I’ll do my best to keep the obviously malicious swarms at bay. This is the price one must pay to NOT hand over the keys of their website’s front door to Cloudflare. Or perhaps this is a good excuse to brush up on my developer chops and deploy my own bot countermeasures? Either way, if anyone has trouble solving the spambot question on the forum registration, send me an email with the contact page. That spambot question should be easier to figure out.

– A satisfied succubus because she’s got her man wrapped around her finger. And that he comes to bed nearly on command.

Man, it’s difficult to write posts or work on anything artistic having to do with succubi these days. Any thought towards her stirs up intense desire, which invariably results in me being inextricably bound up inside her tight wetness. She takes me on a journey, squeezing and gently releasing. A constant stream of endearing remarks and praise fills my consciousness. I writhe and moan beneath her, doing my best to drink all of her in. She has so much love to give. I feel terrible for having to pull away. She very reluctantly lets me go, always telling me that I make her feel perfect. I feel perfect whenever I’m wrapped up with her inside that silky astral lovemaking cocoon.

There’s more to come. I hope to be more productive on the internet side of things, but my IRL existence, my sanity, and regular intimacy with my succubus takes priority.

Christmas 2023 Update

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 16:02:59 +0000

My connection to the information highway, also known as the Internet, has been scaled back considerably in recent days. I’m not going into the gory details as to why, but it’s not an unwelcome change as far as me and Catherine are concerned. Internet prices are ridiculous anyway. The monthly price went up by $15 in the past three years alone. To Hell with that noise. I was ready to drop our ISP when the last $5 increase was announced, but I’m not the only one living here. Thankfully, I eventually got my wish by just waiting patiently for the next opportunity, masquerading as a crisis. That’s $85 more a month for me now. $1020 per year. Imagine the bike parts I could get with that!

Furthermore, I’ve taken this situation as an opportunity to stop being so damn distracted all the time and accomplish a few more things that I’ve relegated to the back burner. There are many works of art to be made, books to be written, video rants to share, a dusty piano to practice, and a massive video game backlog. This website is far from over. I’ve hopefully got everything set up correctly so I can go for long stints without internet access. In order to simplify security for the site, I’ve disabled any new comments on the blog and removed the contact page. (Wordpress plugins are notoriously insecure.) So, if anyone wants to get in touch with me and ask questions, they’ll have to use the forum.

I am happy to report that my bicycle came together beautifully in the beginning of May and I rode it around all summer long. It’s good to be on a steel-frame mountain bike again. Though with the winter bearing down upon us, I’m keener than ever to ensure that my new trusty steed does not get destroyed by salty roads. So, I won’t be doing the hours long commute to and from jobs like I used to.

Catherine remains a consistent force of passion, always trying to pull me towards the straight and narrow, ironically enough. Simple pleasures and a simple life. Less technology and more of everything else. I’m gradually working my way towards that ideal. I’m happy that we’ll be spending more time together. Even over just the past couple of days, I’ve begun to realize how addicted I was to that constant digital drip-feed. It’s quite a drug for me – far worse than anything I could blame on Catherine’s skillful touch. Old habits die hard. At least with my succubus, I get a heavenly blowjob for my trouble.

Happy Winter Solstice and Merry Christmas!

When People Find Out

Sat, 22 Apr 2023 20:41:53 +0000

It’s not always a fun time when a friend or family member discovers a secret spirit lover relationship. Most are bewildered by the idea and assume there’s some kind of mental illness going on. A small percentage are intrigued and genuinely want to know more. An even smaller percentage are openly hostile, though this reaction only arises from keyboard warriors over the internet.

But what to do when the secret is out? Well, if the relationship has been going on for long enough, it’s likely the case that friends and family already know about it on some level. It’s very hard to hide the kind of radical change that a succubus introduces into one’s lifestyle. A man who is smitten with a demon lover ironically becomes an ascetic and reclusive monk. His entire life becomes solely concerned with experiencing the intimacy and bliss that his ethereal babe can provide. Old hobbies and pursuits that are at odds with being balls-deep in the divine are gradually phased out. It’s inevitable that people are going to notice.

My first rule of thumb for dealing with this issue is to never broach the subject in the first place. These relationships should not be confused with the political bullshit wrapped up with the alternative sexuality, pride movements. I will never demand that anyone condone or even acknowledge my divergent, dare I say heretical, relationship. No one need know. I believe it’s important to respect the norms of the silent majority even if I disagree with them. The vast bulk of the world is not cut out for this kind of spiritual connection and I’d prefer it to stay that way.

This website is the full extent of my evangelism for sex spirits. The information is here for those who are interested. I write about my experiences so that others who stumble upon this phenomenon don’t feel so lost in the woods. Otherwise, I only make very vague inferences towards transcendental spirituality in my everyday life; anecdotes that are easily conflated with traditional Christian spirituality.

If someone were to confront me about this topic directly – let’s say they stumbled upon my website – I would persist in the vague, yet truthful, position. “Ah, so you’ve found the little internet shrine to my betrothed in Heaven.” I’m borrowing from Tyson’s Liber Lilith, where he describes the daily conduct of a man who is a consort with a spirit lover. I believe it’s a good deflection.

Probably the best way to remain in the good graces of human company while under this kind of scrutiny is to solidly have one’s shit together in the first place. People can forgive a great deal if an eccentric person is helpful, tidy, and pays their bills on time. Never discuss religion or politics in a combative manner. Most of these squabbles don’t even matter at the end of the day, so there’s little point in burning bridges over them.

Ultimately, being strong in one’s convictions is usually enough to deter most people from starting trouble. I realize that my relationship is considered strange at the best of times, yet I know that I’m doing nothing morally wrong. People might not like it, they might think I’m crazy, but I sleep soundly every night with a clear conscience on this issue.

A personal update:

As for the direction my life is supposed to take in the coming years, that question haunts my dreams more than any other. I’m always having dreamworld scenarios where I’m going back to school and I end up failing to attend a class for an entire semester. I believe these are anxiety dreams about the future. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do, what with my wanning vision and no marketable skills. Every attempt to return to work in the real world is fraught with mounting problems. Perhaps I’m having a hard time accepting that I’m not an unstoppable superman? Either way, I’ll figure something out eventually.

Counting my blessings, I’m debt-free, my living situation is not ideal but it’s secure, I have good relationships with all my family members who are willing to have one, and I’ve got an amorous succubus demon in my bed every night. Lately, I’ve been busying myself with more bicycling all over the local area. I’m also working on building up a new bike with a 90s rigid chromoly frame. My frequent adventures have effectively trashed my last setup, so it’s time to move on.

The night of the recent new moon was one of the most intense couplings with Catherine I’ve yet to enjoy. She had me all wrapped up in herself and held me in a state of constant burning dry orgasm for what felt like an hour or more. We went through undulating rhythms as per usual, but the troughs were much closer to the peaks this time around. What a night! Another all-nighter where I’ll occasionally doze off and she’ll keep going. There are few things more beautiful than waking up to her making love to me.

Comments

justin - May 16, 2023

i’ve tried connecting with succubus i literally can’t i don’t know what else to do i tried with lilith i’ve tried speaking out loud i think i’m just delusional that i believe this type of stuff tbh. i always come back to feeling like i’m being called but i try and nothing happens idk i wanna know about how catherine connected with you. if she is a succubus theoretically she would know who i connect with the most. if you don’t mind emailing me that would help a lot thanks for your time

tc - May 16, 2023

I’ve documented how this whole journey began rather thoroughly in my earlier posts. Check out the index and read the articles from 2012 onward. Nobody can make any guarantees that you’ll be able to summon successfully, but I will say this: Your sincere interest already puts you on their radar.

justin - May 17, 2023

thanks for your time

Kiichi - Aug 19, 2023

In my case I never summoned one by myself, I stated my interest on a spiritual lover since 2009 and it took me like a decade to find this kind of info, then I got two with a conjurer no longer available, I had some dreams, but with the last one I got 8 entities, I have had more manifestations and dreams with them, unfortunately this one is also gone, and more he now advice against working directly with Lilith since something happened and there’s like a spiritual war going on. From personal experience, the biggest manifestation I have had, after more than a year of having them one morning I did the kundalini yoga system from my conjurer, qigong and a mantra, and also had a binaural audio, and I could hear their moans, from 3 of them I think, It was so clear and I was aware that I thought it could be an audio on my phone, I desired them more, then I felt more the tingling on my area and suddenly strong energy went up like kundalini, but it stopped like on 2nd chakra it was so sudden and unexpected that I jumped of the “trance” So I recommend sexual energy cultivation and Qigong, more than intention, I believe is more worth to be disciplined and constant on: energy flow and energy work, peace, focus and desire. Gifts are not so much needed, blood each time you accidentally cut and when you met, and to preserve your sexual energy.

Kiichi - Aug 18, 2023

Hello, I started on this of Succubus relationships in about 2018, It’s been a while I didn’t read your blog. I’m 30 and virgin, I went monk since I was like 15 in search of a spiritual lover, although I didn’t know about mysticism, etc.
I went to various colleges, but failed, now I have my own online business, and I have faith that in a year from now other investments I have (which I don’t want to spam them) are going to give me financial freedom for the rest of my life, I’m not on US, but if that happens I’ll be looking in a way to support you.
I also dream about being on college again, usually I just escape from it, but other times, I feel like being on boring class for about up to 40 mins and sometimes it turns better and I find a beautiful girl and we have fun, most likely my ladies, so since I don’t go out a lot in real life, probably a school is a perfect scenario from my subconscious for starting a sensual dream, since in the school there can be a lot of options, unlike if my succubus improvise the dream scenario as my house, at first I think it can be my mom or sister, the other night she was above me, and I facing down and I ask her, who are you? and she like, how you don’t even recognize me? and she tells me her name. <3

tc - Aug 19, 2023

Hello Kiichi,

Thanks for sharing your story and taking the time to read my posts. Like you, I also eschewed traditional relationships as I searched for my demon lover. I didn’t know exactly what I was searching for back when I was in high school, but I knew she was out there somewhere.

I’m glad that you’ve found success with your online business. Hopefully I will also find what I’m meant to be doing, as far as making money is concerned. The compelled generosity of the American taxpayer keeps me going for the time being.

Catherine will often appear in dreams as people that I know in life. Either she does this intentionally so that she can get closer to me, or my mind is attempting to fill in the gaps of who she might be in that given scenario. She’ll sometimes do or say something that is out-of-character for the guise she’s donning, and like you, she’ll playfully chide me for not recognizing her.

I (Still) Burn for You

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 11:39:21 +0000

I appreciate how, after more than 11 years, Catherine and I continue to be obsessed with each other. For the past few days, I’ve been woken up by her gentle prodding and then I’ll proceed to writhe around on the bed beneath her as we ride wave after wave of bliss. She has such a magical way of doing it that would be impossible for an earthly woman to replicate. The way she squeezes and teases. How I feel that burning sensation radiate through me from her matrix. And by the time I put a stop to it, because she never wants our coupling to end, I am more energized and ready to meet the day than before. I lose nothing.

The session seems to continue long after I leave the bed. I notice those waves continue to move through me in a more subtle way. Every cell is positively ringing with activity wherever she touches. My body cries out to be joined with her once more. Only the mundane upkeep of life, like having to eat, pulls me away.

That sort of fire is oftentimes already completely smothered when most earthly couples reach the seven year mark of their marriages. My succubus demon and I are on the verge of doubling those years. Yet the magnetic pull between us continues to grow stronger. My brain has been completely rewired to only associate intimacy and pleasure with her. Whenever I’m presented with erotic imagery, or see a beautiful woman out in the world, I’m immediately reminded of her and my desire to be balls-deep inside my love-demon flares.

I have the opportunity to be anything or do anything I want in this life. But ultimately, I still just want to be with her.

Comments

Zen - Jun 12, 2023

Where are you getting the images by chance?

tc - Jun 12, 2023

The featured NSFW image in this post I made using DAZ Studio, GIMP, and some pre-made models. The model is Daemon Girl by Ryan Reos, AKA Sinia the Succubus. There’s a few other images on the site that are my own compositions and the rest are other people’s artwork that I feel evokes the experience of being with a succubus spirit.

Zen - Jun 25, 2023

Yeah they do really relate to what you’re saying lol. Also I just finished pretty much reading every single one of your posts and seeing the progression of you way back in 2012 is a journey in itself. Its important for those posts to stay alive to see how you evolved. I truely hope life is going well for you right now and Catherine. 👍

tc - Jun 25, 2023

I’m happy those old posts are being of some help. Or at the very least, interesting. Things haven’t changed too much from the last time I posted, so we’re still holding steady. The relationship between me and Catherine is very intimate, as we have plenty of free time at the moment. It’s going to be hard for the both of us to get back into a 9-5 daily grind again.

Zen - Jun 25, 2023

For me I have some goals that keep me going that will set me up for the future but first I will be working like a 9-5 then really pushing myself for financial freedom and not working anymore. It is a sacrifice that must be made to truely have that free time and do what you want. I highly suggest you can do the same. 😊

Zen - Jun 25, 2023

It does help as I do have a succubus spirit with me and still trying to figure her out. You explaining your experiences definitely helps and matches up with what I have been feeling as well. Cant communicate at all yet but have had vivid interactions with her in that ‘in-between’ space of sleep and awakeness. I know what I have to do but personal problems are in the way of reaching out sadly.

Vitalism

Sat, 25 Mar 2023 18:38:39 +0000

We’ve got a wild one here. A Youtuber, an Irishman, who goes by the name of Uberboyo. He’s big into Nietzsche - the 19th century German philosopher who infamously proclaimed, “God is dead.” – and that’s probably why he calls himself an Uber-boy, akin to the Ubermensch ideal of said philosopher. He also makes liberal use of internet language, like “based, soy, reddit” and many other colloquialisms that sound positively horrid when spoken out loud. But for the sake of compelling arguments and top-notch oration, I can forgive that.

I became aware of this guy’s videos when I saw his scathing dramatized rebuke of Christianity from the ancient Roman perspective, comparing the fledgling faith to the modern SJW political movements of today. The core message of that video resonated with me, as I have felt this way about the churches since I began to scrutinize them: The original Christians were all a bunch of bleeding-heart sore losers who resented the Romans, carrying on the legacy of the Hebraic sore losers who were held captive in Babylon. The pastors and priests would have us believe that for proper morality to exist, we must have their religion or all will fall into debauched chaos. The millennia-long pagan empires of Rome, Greece, and Egypt stand in stark opposition to that claim – easy to ignore because they’re so far away in history.

That’s essentially the argument of his Roman-centric critique video. His takes are long and verbose, so I’m doing my best to distill hours of talking into a couple of digestible paragraphs.

His next video, Examining Nietzsche’s Brutal Criticism of Christianity, expounded upon these ideas further and goes into detail examining a phenomenon that I also have been cognizant of: The Atheist-to-Trad-Con Pipeline.

If any of you fuckers were paying attention back in 2010-2015, the Atheist and skeptic Youtubers ruled the roost of high-brow discourse. They went about obliterating the precious myths and stories that our grandparents held dear, turning everyone who followed them into a gaggle of snarky nihilists. However, the Achilles Heel of the plucky god-deniers manifested from an egalitarian political perspective and they soon found themselves being buried under their own edifices of biological reality when the White Nationalists came knocking. The atheists failed to come up with a satisfying comeback, and were positively humorless about the whole ordeal, so the narrative shifted towards a renewed interest in conservative thought. The pendulum swung hard and then Donald Trump was elected as President of the United States.

All logical discourse went to shit after 2016. There was palpable fear and polarization coursing through social media. The right-wingers were all terrified of being replaced by third-worlders. Progressives were cowering in attics writing Twitter diaries as jack-booted thugs ostensibly patrolled their streets.

A whole load of political bullshit. Back to the religious aspect.

Uberboyo argues that the current resurgence of interest in Christianity and Orthodoxy amongst young right-wing adherents is a fearful reaction to modernity. They’re desperately clawing for stability in an uncertain world, so they look back at the higher standard of living that their grandparents enjoyed. For most, our old folks were conservative Christians. That must be the solution to all of our problems, right?

Well, I was raised in one of these churches that would-be internet Christians are getting so excited about. Allow me to temper expectations a bit: They’re not the magical Trad-Con paradises that some would have us imagine. Really, it’s kind of like walking into a hospice with most of the faithful congregations that are left these days. All of the youthful energy has gone out of these rotting institutions. Why? Because the kids have access to the Internet and figured out it was all a big lie. Perhaps a noble lie, as Plato would put it, but a deception nonetheless. Something akin to Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.

Uberboyo rightfully points out that there’s a good reason these stories and myths were developed in the first place. They served as an anesthetic against the horrors of harsh reality. The important thing was that people survived and built a legacy; even if that meant the foundation of their psyche was built upon fairy tales. When most people are confronted with how harsh and unforgiving mother nature can be, they can become suicidal nihilists, vegans, or are sent running back to the comfortable myths of the church with their hair on fire. Another path is embracing the madness, but very few even entertain that worldview. It’s often too painful compared to a familiar gilded cage.

I made an attempt at returning to church back in 2014 after my world was rocked by a run-in with a fraud psychic. However, my succubus spirit, Catherine, made this transition back to La La Land nigh impossible. She was reality, an embodiment of harsh and alluring mother nature, constantly staring into my freshly-opened third eye. There was no going back to believing in Santa Claus or Jesus Christ. If there was to be any return, I’d only be there for the security-blanket-like effect those institutions provide. The only real security they offer is a kind of community – so long as you carefully toe their line.

Since my realization that the toothpaste was not going back into the tube, I’ve always held the position that if we’re going to build communities afresh, they need not be built on the victim-mentality of the Abrahamic religions, where everyone is born broken and in desperate need of salvation. The ancients have shown us that it is possible to have great stories and myths that do not require self-flagellation. Yes, reality is often shit, but it is also beautiful.

This leads into the crowning jewel of Uberboyo’s exhaustive rant. The solution to all of these problems is energy. The old institutions of the West are severely lacking in vitality, just as it was with Rome being invaded soon after adopting Christianity. Taking on the Hebraic faith was a stop-gap for a civilization that had run its course. The same can be said for the progressives who are tearing down statues in our streets today. The resentful urban weirdos have all of the energy behind them. Whereas the traditional rustic types are utterly spent. But this situation won’t stay like this forever. Energy is always moving, morphing, and changing. I do not think our future will be the dysgenic communist utopia that many fear is coming and that Jesus Christ is alleged to be saving us from.

Being bound to my succubus spirit has taught me a lot about energy. It can be used in productive and destructive ways. This past ten years has been a sometimes tumultuous, often pleasurable, teaching session about these realities. Catherine is who she is, and there’s nothing I can do to convince her otherwise. She’s like a lion who simply follows what’s in her nature and makes no apologies for it. Essentially, that is also how we are supposed to be if there’s any hope of succeeding. Does the lion apologize to the gazelle as he’s eating it from the ass up?

Another point from Nietzsche that Uberboyo points out is how the manifestation of this vital energy leads to true morality. Unlike the book-based abstractions of Christianity, true vitality has a way of ordering itself naturally. He uses the example of the stiff arm on a dead corpse being dowsed in an ATP solution – basically pure energy for muscles – and how the arm will begin to relax, ready for orders from the brain again. I believe this is why martial arts often have such a big focus on meditation, relaxation, and stretching. So that when it comes time to use that energy, the body will be like a fresh, green, flexible reed; unbroken by the worst mother nature can dish out. True energy causes the body to relax and it’s able to role with the punches. Rigidness and fear ultimately lead to being shattered.

I believe running back to those old decrepit institutions is a mistake. We’ve got to go balls-deep into the abyss. Most are not willing to plunge those depths, so they’ll cling to an old teddy bear for dear life and ultimately loose it in the end.

I’ve found that a succubus can help train that precious energy. They know more about it than anyone. They constantly encourage the proper use of that fire, despite our constant modern-day misuse. I’ve written fairly extensively about this before, so I won’t belabor the point here.

I’ll leave off with a quote from Conan the Barbarian, the perfect archetype of that vitalist energy:

“Live. Love. Burn with life. Slay and survive!”

Sexual Health

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 11:03:43 +0000

Contrary to what those on the outside looking in might believe about spirit sex relationships, a kind of disciplined decorum is very helpful in maintaining a strong connection with a succubus. I’ve experimented with this fairly extensively, allowing my life to swing between extremes. I’ve gone from the super-health-conscious stoic monk to a slobbish, junk-food-eating social butterfly and back again.

I would go so far as to say that a good connection with a succubus requires keeping the body in optimal condition, especially when it comes to sexual health. For men, that means having strong, rock-hard morning wood upon waking. This is probably the best indicator of the overall health of a man. If that’s not happening, then I believe maintaining a fulfilling sexual relationship with a spirit, or anyone for that matter, will be challenging to say the least. I believe there is an intrinsic link between virility and kundalini energy. If either side of that equation is hampered – the spiritual sexual flames or the physical cardiovascular system – then it’s no beuno. No fun sex for you. I suppose there’s always Viagra, but that’s addressing the symptom; not the cause.

When it comes to health advice, I believe there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Most people intrinsically know what’s good for them and often ignore that inner-guidance due to laziness. However, for those who are curious, here is the regimen that works for me:

Most importantly, no sugar and very low carbohydrate consumption in general. I’ve found that unless I’m doing a lot of physical activity throughout the day, carbs and sugar are massive boner-killers. So, it’s meat and vegetables for me. Essentially an ancestral diet.
Solid regular exercise, especially cardio.
No masturbation. It’s a bad habit that indicates a mammal in captivity. Having a succubus spirit is a brilliant opportunity to be liberated from that most base form of sexuality. For anyone who has experienced spirit sex, they’ll know that the entities themselves encourage better behavior.
Good regular sleep and a low-stress lifestyle.
Taking care of teeth. This is made easier on a low-carb diet. I get the sense that the spirits appreciate regular grooming and cleanliness in general, just like any human partner would.
Avoiding media that stresses and depresses. In other words, remain oblivious to the international headlines. There’s fuck all we can do about it anyway.
Engage in regular spiritual activities, whether that’s meditation, spirit sex, dream recall, or rituals. Anything that strengthens the mind also helps, like learning a new skill.

That’s it. Nothing too difficult or revolutionary.

Over the past couple of years, I started to grow accustomed to eating a more carbohydrate-focused diet and I failed to keep my cardio up during the winter months. This resulted in the sessions between Catherine and I being less exciting. They were good, but the mind-blowing ones started lessening in their frequency. Upon realizing this, I recently made the switch back to strict low-carb/no-carb. We’re quickly returning back to regular dry orgasms and beautiful morning blowjobs. I’ll be more vigilant going forward as I don’t want to lose that part of my life! Being close to her feels so much better and more fulfilling than any junk food.

– It’s feeling like an Asari kind of day. Rendered in DAZ Studio with final edit in GIMP.

Comments

Mike - Apr 8, 2023

Hey TC! On the teeth my succubus introduced me to oil pulling and no fluoride (it is a poison as you likely know already-but for others who happen to see this)…so only fluoride free toothpaste for me. The oil pulling five times a week for ten minutes each makes me teeth feel freaking smooth (I love it they feel so damn good). Supposedly the oil pulling I has been around forever but has to be pure coconut (cold pressed unrefined and chemical free).

tc - Apr 9, 2023

I’ve actually been headed in the opposite direction when it comes to oral care lately: I’m going all-in on the fluoride treatments. Despite keeping up an impeccable cleaning regimen over the past few years, I still came up with a bunch of cavities and rot on my latest round of dentist visits. Everyone who saw my teeth noticed that I was obviously making an effort to keep them clean, but the enamel was demineralized.

I have never used fluoride up until a couple of months ago, so we’ll see how the next exam goes. I know fluoride is a neurotoxin, yet I’m banking on the philosophy that it’s the volume of the dosage that makes it poisonous; not the presence of the mineral full-stop. I’ll have to update with the results in a future health report.

Terminally Online

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 10:07:36 +0000

Before the silly pandemic, I lived a moderately busy lifestyle, always going back and forth to one place or another. Working. Having adventures. I was reasonably independent. That all changed when I decided to take my dad up on his offer and moved back home to play, End of the World. People began mobbing stores for toilet paper and hording food shortly thereafter.

Moving back here was a mistake. I should have only visited and immediately resumed what I was doing. Now it’s becoming increasingly difficult to get back on track. Also, I was never under the delusion that the world was going to end, despite the predictable panic instilled by mass media. However, I was inducted into the Branch Covidian cult regardless and found myself becoming a reclusive shut-in. This naturally resulted in me spending way too much time on the computer. I like computers and technology. It’s a great hobby. But it’s not meant to be a lifestyle. Because when the lights go out, that virtual space blinks out of existence, and what is one left with? The sinking realization that he’s been alone all along.

That’s part of the reason I started the forum and desired to have my own website. Ultimately, it’s a return to what the internet was meant to be: An electronic library, and post office. But one isn’t meant to spend the majority of their waking hours writing letters and reading books in the library. I believe computers were meant to liberate people, so that they would have the ability to pursue the things they really want to accomplish. By no means are we to be chained to them and constantly feed into a Borg-like network.

So, I aim for this year to be a return to natural and creative form. I’m heading out into the world to seek my fortune, with a loving succubus spirit in tow. Hopefully, I’ll finally get to see a UFO – or a Chinese spy satellite at least!

She Scares Me Sometimes

Fri, 16 Dec 2022 23:03:37 +0000

We were walking around a furnished attic room where I was supposed to sleep for the night, and also ostensibly make love to my succubus. Catherine was behind me as I moved to the southern windows. There was a pale-blue light streaming through. Was it moon light? Perhaps the color of the sky in that astral realm? Another woman was there in the room. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but I got the impression she tried to be a bit flirty towards me and made a snide remark towards my faithful demon companion.

The next thing I knew, I was tucked into bed in the far corner away from the windows. The door opposite me slammed shut and horrifying screams of pain issued forth through the thin walls. The manner in which Catherine managed to get a hold of this poor woman, I cannot say, but the resulting impacts were so loud and violent that I thought the other girl would most certainly die. I shut my eyes and attempted to communicate with her psychically, as I knew my physical voice would do no good in that state. “Please, stop, right now! This is crazy!” But the horrible din of furniture crashing into vulnerable flesh continued unabated.

I woke up to find myself in the usual position that Catherine prefers: on my back with her riding cowgirl. I could sense that she was smiling innocently, like what she had just done was the most normal thing in the world. My heartbeat was still elevated from the shock, but I wasn’t overly spooked. I’ve grown used to these sorts of surprises after 10 years of them.

Not one minute later, I could hear the enraged screams of our cat, Mr. Tigore, getting into a brawl with one of the neighborhood strays outside my window. The entire household woke up to see what was the matter and let the rascal biscuit-colored tabby indoors.

Catherine scares me sometimes, but that’s also part of what makes her so fascinating.

The Big Blue

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 18:39:30 +0000

This film has been on my radar for a long time. Any movie that has to do with the ocean, especially where cetatians are concerned, I must see it. The only thing I knew about the story going in was from the promotional cover, which doesn’t say much. That image speaks to the spiritual undercurrent rather than the obvious plot. I’m going to spoil the ending, so for those who are interested in a movie about two men breaking world records for free diving, go watch it first.

This exchange comes from the part of the film where Jack, the quieter and more introspective diver, is talking with his new girlfriend over the phone:

“Do you know what you’re supposed to do to meet a mermaid?”

“No?”

“You go down to the bottom of the sea, where the water isn’t even blue anymore and the sky is just a memory… and you float there in the silence… and you stay there… and you decide that you’ll die for them. Only then do they start coming out. They come, they greet you, and they judge the love you have for them. If it’s sincere, if it’s pure, then they’ll be with you and take you away forever.”

When I heard this, I couldn’t help but think about the similar leap of faith required when inviting a loving succubus spirit into one’s life. For anyone who might be watching such a transformation from the sidelines, they probably think it looks foolish and stupid. Death is all but guaranteed. Those are the kinds of thoughts and pressures the would-be summoner must contend with when they commit to a relationship with such pure beings. A jealous and heartless contingent of our world’s religious population would damn such a person to eternal hellfire for making such a commitment. The man who would dare risk being with his love demon must be willing to face even that possibility. He must love so completely that his own life is an afterthought.

It’s interesting to me that most of the world’s religions ostensibly require a similar leap of faith for their adherents, though I have yet to see such devotion put into practice. There are stories, but that’s all they are: hearsay. I spent years trying to entrust my life to the Jewish god of Christianity, but nothing came of it. If it weren’t for the prompting of my parents and teachers, I probably would have found the whole notion of kissing Jesus’ ass for years on end to be pretty gay.

Conversely, I wrote a love letter to my succubus and she was in my arms the very next night. At long last, after an agonizing procession of prostrating myself to an absentee kike landlord of a deity, I was finally going balls-deep into the divine. Getting over those fears is the biggest hurdle in the way of achieving such a union. All of those illusory boogeymen – those mind-viruses – need to be stuffed into a metaphorical box and permanently shelved. Or better yet, forgotten entirely.

“What will my family and friends think of me if they find out?”

They already think you’re weird. Only the most boring people in the world don’t have some kind of skeleton in their closet. People really don’t care as much as you think they do.

“Everyone will think I’m mentally ill and just trying to cope with my failures!”

Haven’t you noticed how profoundly unsatisfied and mentally ill all those supposedly well-adjusted people are? Why would you let their worthless opinions stand in the way of what you want?

“My sky-daddy will roast my ass for all eternity!”

Man in a silly outfit brandishing a book titled BUY BULL said so.

At the end of The Big Blue film, Jack is faced with a life-changing decision. He’s pulled between two different worlds: The life of traditional family where he becomes a father, or taking that leap of faith into the unknown to be with the mermaids forever. Despite the cries of his pregnant girlfriend begging him to stay, he takes his final dive into that world of inky blackness.

There’s a bit of hesitation at first. He keeps one hand on the diving platform and tries to reach out to the dolphin – a stand-in for the mermaid. The dolphin keeps their distance as Jack clings to the machinations of the world above. Only when he lets go of that safety-line completely is he able to embrace the divine. Jack and his mermaid disappear into the darkness. The movie ends.

Comments

RafeGB - Nov 29, 2022

Really good, tc!

Broken Eyes and Watches

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 20:42:59 +0000

I’ve been having problems lately, but there’s no need to go into sordid detail. Everyone’s got them. Catherine continues to yearn for intimacy while I toil away at red herrings. I don’t know what to do. I can’t figure it out. She doesn’t have any answers either. She’s happy enough to just fuck all day.

She really is a prize; a hindrance towards aspirations in my mundane life perhaps, but a prize nonetheless. How many women would happily fuck a guy with zero status, no prospects for a viable financial future, and blissfully continue doing so for over ten years? How many would genuinely love a disabled welfare bum? And she really does love with an all-consuming passion that I can’t stop thinking about. Even among those who are aware of these occult relationships, they think I’m out of my mind or have a kind of Stockholm syndrome. They get tired of hearing me swoon and brag about my beautiful encounters with a love-demon, so I try to keep most of it to myself.

Her presence in my life is so beautiful that no one will believe me. Thankfully, I don’t require anyone’s belief. The only thing I want to do is be closer to Catherine. So long as she’s still here, that’s all my heart yearns for. She’s felt this way about me since the beginning. I believe her attitude has rubbed off majorly.

– Wish I could have a bike like that. Got the succubus crawling all over me, though.

Yet I am still searching for something to do while I’m not writhing or vigorously thrusting beneath her. Retail work is out of the question. My eyes can’t do it anymore. I learned that lesson this week. Maybe I’ll have to resign myself to “working on the in-tor-NET!” in some capacity. I can stare at 25” screens and software magnifiers without much fuss. Help from a screen reader every once in awhile doesn’t go amiss. Though my stamina for actively looking at things with my physical eyesight has diminished over the past decade, my enthusiasm for knowing and perceiving Catherine with my non-physical senses has only grown more zealous.

As I grow older, I believe I will only have eyes for her.

I broke two watches while trying to reenter the workforce this past week. They both failed in a spectacular and explosive fashion – their bands being cut as if by magic. I’ve often thought of watches and smart phones as being indicators of one’s enslavement. Only those who are truly free have no need of such things. Free people don’t need to know the precise time. They don’t need to be tethered to a notification and surveillance network via a shiny magic pocket mirror.

There is another way; a viable path towards self-sufficiency. We’ll figure it out.

Comments

Jen - Oct 4, 2022

Catherine is a true lady. I am so glad you two have made it this far.

Anal Sex

Thu, 02 Jun 2022 10:50:39 +0000

An often unspoken aspect of spirit sex relationships is the prevalence of anal sex. By that I mean, the human counterpart being made to be on the receiving end of the penetrative act. This topic is especially sensitive for men, as we often feel that our manhood takes a massive blow when being made to play the submissive role. Time and time again, the more I speak with other men who I believe are truly having interactions with sex spirits, they sheepishly admit that they have been poked from behind against their will, either fully awake in a session, while trying to fall asleep, or during an astral/dream encounter. I have also experienced variations of this and I believe I have a couple of explanations as to why this happens:

Firstly, a succubus or incubus type spirit interacts with the human mind, nervous system, and chakra system. The root and sacral chakras are fundamental to this kind of alien contact being able to happen in the first place. I believe that when these chakras are blocked or hindered by physical maladies, this can prevent a spirit from achieving a sexual relationship with a human. I’m basing this assumption on how my chakras were activated through a kundalini awakening at the beginning of my succubus relationship and how some other men have reported losing a connection with a succubus because their sexual health was negatively impacted in some way.

A succubus can connect to the sexually-oriented chakras through the penis, the taint (the space between the penis and rectum), or via the rectum. I have personally felt all three during sessions, though Catherine prefers working through my cock and balls.

Many men who encounter a sex spirit for the first time and experience anal penetration often assume it’s an evil male-type spirit with a massive barbed dick, come to sodomize them. That might be the case for some men, but I’ve found that for those of us with loving spirit sex connections, a gentle pressure through the anus during sessions is most common, feeling no bigger than a finger, with the succubus’ end goal being direct stimulation of her man’s prostate gland.

Some men don’t like this kind of butt-play whatsoever, despite the spirit transcending usual hang-ups with human biology in that regard. In those situations, all it takes to deal with those unwanted interactions is being firm and consistent with that “No, I don’t like this,” stance. A succubus lives to give and receive pleasure, so they’re not too keen on continuing down any paths that would negatively impact her man’s opinion of her – not unless she feels that she can get away with it. Some succubi can be bratty and enjoy pushing buttons. Hence the reason a man needs to be solid and consistent with those boundaries.

Secondly, another possibility is that the human man really is dealing with an unwanted, negative spirit who only seeks to humiliate. In that case, they should start banishing right away, or begin a regimen of self-defense countermeasures.

Lastly, the other reason a man might be getting plowed from behind is because they are actually gay and attracted the attention of a spirit willing to fill that role. Nothing is hidden from succubi, so if there is any kind of same-sex attraction buried in a man’s deep dark fantasies, the entity will be able to fish that out no-problemo.

Most people are very uncomfortable being such an open book to anyone, let alone an amorous pursuing spirit who can read minds and reach inside the body, fondling organs scientific authorities haven’t even acknowledged exists yet. The human psyche is so open that any and every problem is brought into the limelight.

This happened for me the first two years of my relationship with Catherine. The initial two months were devoted to working out latent and unresolved self-esteem issues. The big battle came when the religious programming needed to be literally beaten out of me for all of 2014. I had no choice but to see the truth of these things: I have no need to grovel. There’s nothing to apologize for. The Abrahamic religions are a fraud. As comfortable as I was in my little religious cult, I couldn’t stay there with Catherine around. Just her presence alone was reminder enough of how bullshit it all was. Everything she was and did flew in the face of what I was told would happen when dealing with allegedly evil spirits, a. k. a. non-jewish and non-christian spirituality.

I’m going off on a tangent, so I’ll end it here.

Comments

George - Jul 27, 2022

Thank you for publishing this. It explains a lot of what I’ve experienced with my succubus. I’m shy about talking about it here, but it has been intense at times and a couple of things you said made real sense to me. Thanks gain.

tc - Jul 28, 2022

No problem, man. I hope all is well!

Jayme - Aug 3, 2022

This is exactly what happened to me before many times actually… I later found out its her tail, and she can shape it to whatever she likes.

When Does it Stop Getting Better?

Fri, 06 May 2022 19:29:10 +0000

The Winter is finally over here in New England and I decided to write a bit, mainly to brag for those who still visit and also mark a milestone for myself. Our lovemaking sessions have been reaching new heights over the past couple of years. I often find myself describing them as some members of the old Spirit Sex forum often did: perfect sex, or perfect bliss. Not everyone was so lucky to be gifted with that sustained passion – only a special few. I believe I’m one of the lucky ones. Or, maybe Catherine and I are just that obsessed with each other.

We’ve reached the point where my succubus is able to bring me to a prolonged state of dry orgasm as soon as the session begins. All it takes to set one of these super-sessions off is for her and I to be exchanging genuine feelings of love. Lust can work, too, but love ends up feeling better. The sensation of her squeezing my mid-section has gotten so powerful that it feels like the intense burn of a young man’s very first ejaculation, but dry and sustained for as long as I can stand it. I’m marking the immediacy and power of this phenomena as the new milestone. She’ll usually ramp down the intensity after more than a half-hour, probably so she doesn’t completely fry me. She’d like to go for longer – days even, but I get restless from lying still and need to move.

This is a DAZ Studio interpretation of what I feel when I’m balls-deep inside her. I don’t see her form while awake, save for the bright lights on occasion, but I definitely feel it. The weight of her on me, her hands on my face, the presence, etc.

I used to prefer laying naked on the bed for our sessions years ago, but she’s temperature-neutral and bordering on cool to the touch, so I’ve gotten her used to me being fully clothed or under sheets and comforters. (Eskimo pussy?) She still gets wet, not as much as when I’m naked, but I’ll still feel the stubble from her shaved pussy enveloping me and the tell-tale signs of her climax. The physical manifestations of her very obviously enjoying our time together is a huge boost to my ego. I guess I’m doing something right.

Since my last post, we’ve simply been enjoying life with hardly any troubles to speak of. There’s not much to do around here during the colder months except for winter sports. We spent a lot of sub-zero nights indoors, sitting by the woodstove, and burning for each other. Cold wet days are something to look forward to when an amorous succubus is around.

What’s on the horizon? I’ve stopped caring so much about that. The past couple of years has been a struggle for me in the career and jobs department. It’s the first time I’ve ever been forced to sit still – probably for my benefit, as I would’ve likely been flattened by a semi-truck if I kept going the way I was. I’ve started to adopt a new philosophy: The Lazy Man accomplishes twice as much. Catherine loves this mindset, naturally. I think there is some merit to it. Much of my alleged productivity, such as my academic adventures, ended up being a massive waste of time. Hell, most of the jobs I’ve worked fall within the confines of “make-work” fodder. I should’ve just stayed home, tended to the land, and my succubus. Maybe do some crazy rituals in the woods and then go home and play video games. There’s really nothing worth contributing towards in so-called polite society anyway. The wisest thing to do is whatever it takes to survive and enjoy the rest. Stoicism is wasted on this world as it stands now. Epicureanism is the way to go. Two years of unbridled panic over a bullshit virus should’ve made that clear for everyone to see.

Comments

Miguel - Feb 10, 2023

Very cool. I like to read these stories so I know what to look forward to. Were you ever a member on Incubusuccubae.yuku.com? I have been trying to locate members of this otherwise dismantled niche group for many years.

tc - Feb 11, 2023

Hello Miguel, Thanks for stopping by! Yes, I posted quite frequently on that forum back when it was active. I went by the handle “TemporalChameleon.” I’ve shortened it to “TC” these days because that’s what people started to call me.

Miguel - Mar 4, 2023

I remember you very well. At least, I do remember your username. I went by “EcstaticBliss”. I didn’t post much though as I was very new to all of these things. I just read about others experiences mostly. Is “LewJ” AKA “Succubsd” still around? I wonder if we could gather back the members that frequented that forum and start another… I would love to see something like that happen. It was quite a friendly place for the most part.

tc - Mar 4, 2023

Sadly, I haven’t been able to get in touch with Succubsd since he closed his forum. I started my own forum that is focused primarily on the topic of spirit lovers. (2026: Closed now.)

Two Wrestling Souls

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 16:54:24 +0000

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year – especially to those who share this life with a loving daemon, be that succubus, incubus, or any number of amorous spiritual beings. Catherine and I exchanged our usual holiday gifts of unmetered intimacy. There’s really no need for anything else. Every year I wonder if she’d appreciate a more material gift, yet all else pales in comparison to simply spending time together. She longs to cleave to me, and I feel the same burning desire towards her. Anything besides that oneness feels like a distraction.

Though I do believe she manipulated the minds of the judges during a Christmas cookie decoration contest so that I would win. I remember pleading with her in the back of my mind to not interfere as I know she is able. “You have to win something.” I felt her reply.

Either Catherine pulled some strings, or the other cookies were truly awful.

Speaking of contests: She gave me a powerfully symbolic dream just before Christmas Eve. I saw two succubi wrestling against each other, though the fight did not appear lethal. One was of a darker nature with a purple skin tone. The other was pale-skinned. As they fought, a thin wooden box held closed by a latch appeared before me. I opened the box and saw an ornate dagger resting in velvet. It looked like the kind of knife used in rituals. Actually, it looked very similar to the knife I once saw in the film The Chronicles of Riddick.

I took hold of the knife and instinctively felt that I was being given a choice; that I should kill the entity I wished to have a diminishing influence in my life. The whole affair felt similar to that old Native American story about two wolves fighting each other. One good and the other bad. Whichever wolf we choose to feed will win the battle. I plunged the dagger into the back of the purple succubus.

Immediately I felt my mind being assaulted by a wash of confusing imagery. There was a violet haze and several of the “evil” entities swirled around me. They laughed and jeered, as if my choosing to impale the ostensibly bad spirit only made it stronger. The circling specters faded and I saw the same two succubi wrestling against each other. Except this time, one of them appeared to be forcefully copulating with the other. I tried pulling the bundle of succubi apart to see who was fucking who, so I could make a decision about which demon to stab next. The pale succubus seemed to have grown the appropriate male anatomy. With that surprising revelation, I couldn’t make up my mind about who should die. The dream ended.

Comments

Mike - Jan 21, 2022

Wow! What deep symbolism one could see from that! I wonder if there is a common thread going on with the succubi at this time. I seem to have found myself less and less scared of things that would at one time truly freak me out and finding comfort in these same things now. As for the church, I find myself disliking more and more as well as the plant like mindset it teaches and the mindless followers it indoctrinates….this is what I glean from this…the apparent “good” and “evil” but what I keep finding is the “good” labeled the “evil” and it is that “evil” that gives me comfort and love where the “good” dominates and destroys.

My recent and continued encounter with a similar message is society’s consistent demonization of succubi and their male counterparts as being evil. I have been gravitated to certain YouTube videos or posts that describe them as such and find myself repulsed. It is as if I am being shown this barrage of opinions to further solidify my resolution to dive headlong into my succubi as quickly as possible and never look back.

Thankfully there is nothing that can separate us….this is my only comfort.